Sleepless again

Photo by Marie Lemaistre on

I was watching tv until about 1am and then I tried to lay down to go to sleep, but my body aches too much to fall asleep. So I decided to blog after tossing and turning for over a hour. I tried chain smoking my vape (which just makes me want more nicotine), I tried drinking lots of water (which makes me have to get up to use the bathroom a lot), tried playing different types of music (which didn’t help).

So I gave up. I’m just not going to go to bed right now. Eventually my achy muscles, joints, and bones will subside enough for me to catch a few Z’s. Or the exhaustion will take me, either way.

I would have figured that my body would have given itself up to sleep by now considering it is almost 4am, but no. I wish I had someone to talk to right now. Everyone I know is asleep and I don’t need or want to bother anyone. Nor do I have much to say, I just want to cuddle with Diego and our dog, Poncho. But I have no energy to drive over to his house right now. Plus he has to leave for work in an hour and a half so I wouldn’t see him much anyways if I were to go over there.

I am listening to music with my headphones in and they are also sound cancelling so the silence in between songs is almost deafening. I got a pair of Solo Beats by Dre in this deep blue color, they are over the ear headphones, and they sound phenomenal. Only thing is they kind of hurt my ears because the ear muffs grip around my ears too much so it’s a little ouchy. Other than that, they are great for when it’s super late at night like this and I want to blare music without disrupting anyone.

Oh and if you read my last post, you might have seen THIS:

I am going to start scattering these throughout my blog posts as a “suggested” donation or tip or gratuity. The reason I have this at all is because I am a broke college student who runs this whole website (Precarious Aquarius) on my own. No one else behind the curtain, just me; Dani.

You can (or don’t have to) tip anywhere between 99 cents to multiple dollars or whatever you feel in your heart is right. I am trying this because I don’t want to have people have to pay to read my content, that doesn’t seem right to me.

However, if you appreciate my content, please consider donating it goes straight toward fees and costs that deal with this here blog Precarious Aquarius and my vlog, Dani Ahl over on YouTube. If you enjoy my content, but don’t have the means to donate, please like, comment, and share my content on your social media or here on WordPress.

Enough with that stuff though! I am curious how many of you are insomniacs or have trouble sleeping, because I know when I am manic I am definitely not a heavy sleeper, if I sleep at all. Especially if I am in pain or if I am sick, I can’t sleep. I know I’m not really sick, but I feel like crap due to this second covid vaccine.

I wish I was out of my cast so that I could at least be somewhat productive during the night. I have so many boxes from my move back home that I need to go through and either donate, sell, or keep. But instead, for four plus months I have been lazy and haven’t dealt with the 15 boxes of stuff I have. Mind you, I have a closet completely full to the brim with clothes, but I still have more and some I was trying to sell even at the old house!

I have boxes full of pyrex casserole dishes, a knife set, stationary, clothes, canvases, paintings, random crap that I probably don’t need or have anywhere to put, but holds lots of sentimental value. Really I just need to condense everything. I bought a scrapbook to help with the sentimental stuff and a file box with file folders so I can organize important documents.

Actually now is the perfect time to scrapbook, but I would need my mom to bring me the boxes which are all scattered so it would be difficult to ask that of her. But my medical leave got extended for the full twelve weeks where I get paid by the state for my leave of absence. I should be out of the cast at the end of June, then I go on vacation, and then I can do the deep cleaning I have been meaning to do.

The only problem with creating plans like this is by the time July rolls around, I’m not going to want to deep clean, file paperwork, or scrapbook. It all is very tedious and I definitely have to be in the mood for tedious work. But sometimes you gotta do the shit you don’t want to do. And consolidating all my shit is one of them.

I applied to a job closer to home so I’m not sure if I will get it, but if I do, I am not sure when I will start. But if I start sooner rather than later, I will have less time, more so motivation to continue to clean and declutter or to even start.

But worrying about these things at 4am when I am nearly delirious from pain and fatigue will not help anyone. Nor does my ranting help anyone. Well that’s not true. My ranting helps ME. It’s my website I do what I waaaaant. Ok I need to get some rest or at least stop blogging everything that pops into my pretty little head.

Ok byeeeeeeee!


One Comment Add yours

  1. socialworkerangela says:

    Insomnia sucks so much time spent wishing you were sleeping though i tend to have the opposite issue i sleep too much so that when i do have insomnia its horrible because I’m not use to it if that makes sense. Hope you find some rest soon.

    Liked by 1 person

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