I am officially sick of my cast. My foot is aching inside of my cast and I can’t move it around inside of my cast, so my foot gets bruised when trying to get comfortable. If I could rip off my cast, I would. So fortunately for me, I can’t take this one off like I could the bulky Jones cast.

Story time: my first surgery I was in so much pain, I ripped off my bulky Jones cast, which is made of plaster, gauze, and an Ace bandage wrap. It took a hour to get through the forty layers of gauze. But I got in a lot of trouble with my mom and the doctor for ripping off my cast.

I just took some pain pills, but after three surgeries in three years, I have grown a tolerance for these pills, so they only mildly help. But I guess mildly helpful is better than not helpful at all.

The only thing that has been helpful to me is watching tv at 3am because my foot hurts too badly to sleep. I am trying to keep my blood pressure down, but when you’re in pain, that’s hard to do. I have the fan on and my twinkly lights on which help make me happy. But that’s all I can do to get comfortable.

My ankle is very achy at the joint, which is a new pain for me rather than my incisions being painful or my calf aches. On top of this new pain, I am so tired, but I can’t sleep due to the severe pain. I am praying to God for peace of mind and pain relief for my body.

I am now starting to feel minimal relief from my medication, thank the Lord. I hope I will be able to get some sleep tonight before too long. But the more I complain, the more miserable I will be. That is always something I need to work on; to stop complaining so much. I am the biggest advocate for not complaining about the things that you can’t change. My scenario is obviously not something I can change, so there is no point in holding anger and aggression about it.

…

12 hours later

…

I am doing better now. I fell asleep for four hours and woke up around 9am and then fell back asleep til 3pm. My sleep schedule is all messed up due to pain. But Diego picked me up after work and we came back over to his house. He needed my MacBook to download a software update for his Xbox headset. He then made a big deal that I didn’t have to come over anymore because he was getting a different headset from a friend of his and he wouldn’t need to update the software and could return what he bought.

I was already in the car and packed to go, so I said I was gonna come over anyways. I am over at the house and he’s at the dog park with Poncho. It’s nice to have my alone time in a different place and getting to see different scenery is important to deter my depression and mental health issues.

It’s hard to think logically when pain levels are so high. But I got more pain medicine today so I’m good for a little while at least. I am tired of being in pain and taking pain meds, I am ready to move on with this recovery process. But I’m not there yet, and that’s okay. I got to take my time and really baby my foot.

I’ll get there, though. One day at a time. Not everyday is going to be a breeze and I will get through this. Hopefully. I will, no doubt, it’s just frustrating.

Much love,

Dani