I’m trying here…

I have been having this severe brain fog that just won’t go away. It has been making it super hard to concentrate on homework for school and I missed class on Wednesday because my foot is in a boot and I couldn’t walk all across campus to get to class and go up the stairs and all that. So I missed and I know it’s gonna bite me in the ass but I am doing the best I can with the cards I was dealt with. I am working graveyard until 7am Friday morning and I work 12 hour grave shifts all weekend. Steven and I are going car shopping today when I get off work. Well, I am gonna nap for a couple hours and then we are going to go to the bank to get him a check and then buy him a new car. He totaled his about a month ago during our super bad snow storm which was unfortunate because he only owned that car for a month and it was super fancy with all wheel drive and such. But too late now. No use crying over totaled cars.. he’s lucky he’s alive it looked really bad.

My foot has really been bothering me so it will be interesting to see what happens with physical therapy and at the orthopedic surgeon’s office. I am hoping for no surgery but I will most likely get sent out for a MRI and they will assess the severe tissue damage caused by the Achilles tendonitis and this new trauma to the foot (ankle sprain and contusion).

Despite the brain fog, my mental health has been pretty good. I have only been depressed twice this new year and before it was nearly every night. I think a big portion of that had to deal with me working night shift and not being able to see friends and family and what not. I have been working more or less all swing shift, except one grave shift one day a week which is virtually nothing when I was doing 5-6 days of graves before that. I am back on graves for the duration of my accommodations for my ankle. Day and swing shift requires too much standing and moving around and at least on nights, I just have to go over papers and ensure meds were taken and everyone goes to sleep at a reasonable hour. I have really gotten along with my male clients since being on swings because we are actually able to converse and they really like me which makes me happy. I know that because they tell me, ‘We like you, Dan!” One client calls me Dan no matter how many times I try to correct him and tell him it’s Dani but now it’s kind of growing on me just like most nicknames I have has grown on me. There is one staff who has a name that starts with a “V” and the same client who calls me Dan calls her “Melissa” and he will say Melissa said this, that bitch. And then I go who’s Melissa? He gets very frustrated with me because he honest to the lord thinks that is her name. I say oh you mean V——? And he goes yeah I don’t care what her name is and it always kind of makes me laugh because she is indeed a bitch.

This individual (staff) writes up the guys for the stupidest shit. So some of you know that I work with special needs adults and their mindsets are probably that of a young elementary kid’s mindset. The guys are supposed to practice personal space and boundaries. Which I get why that’s a rule. But if there is a short hand hold for less than 5-7 seconds or an arm pat or whatever the touching is, as long as it is not sexual or malicious in nature, I allow it. However this other staff does not. I literally read a report that said “CLient A practiced poor boundaries and tickled client B and could not be redirected after being told they would be written up. They eventually stopped on their own.” I read that one night and I was dying laughing, too good. Not that they were tickling each other but because how stupid do you have to be to write a counseling report about two grown men joking around. Now mind you, this staff has a BSW!!!!!! (Bachelor’s in Social Work) so she should be well versed on how to handle a situation like this plus she has been a community protection caregiver for years and years. Blows my fucking mind, bro.

Well maybe instead of blogging I can actually do my schoolwork. I got about a hour until someone arrives so maybe I shouldn’t bother. But then again, I got nothing better to do for the next hour. So we shall see if I am productive or not.

Much love,

Dani

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