I’ve been really thinking about what I want this blog to be and what I want it to turn into and the slow evolution of this website being primarily mental health related to more of a lifestyle/personal blog. I really resisted this idea at first because it’s not what I ever set this out to be. If you’ve been with me from the beginning (almost three years now), we all know that I have grown and so has this blog and its following. I try to relate each post back to mental health because it’s an important aspect of my life, but it’s not how I identify anymore.
I am a bipolar woman, but I don’t say to everyone I know anymore “Hi, I am Dani and I have bipolar disorder.” It may be a conversation meant for later on but never in the first introduction like I used to. I remember always mentioning my diagnosis when I was dating because I was looking for my future husband and that is an important aspect of who I am, but it’s not what I am (if that makes any sense.) Now that I am getting married next year to Steven, I kind of realized I don’t have to trauma bond with everyone I talk to. It’s not that I don’t view sharing personal struggles as important because I do. But I think in order to have a relationship with friends that are of substance I need to talk about what makes me, well, me. And when thinking about the things that make myself me, bipolar disorder was barely on the list.
Part of me thinks this is because my bipolar has been good lately because my meds seem to be working for the most part and life is overall good. It’s not perfect by any means, I feel like my paranoia has been especially challenging but I am able to recognize it in the moment and correct or right the situation. I need to see my PCP to get bloodwork and to maybe up my lithium or go on a stronger anti psychotic. I am not sure I am jumping ahead just a little bit.
I love mental health and it matters and I am passionate about it and it is why I am going to school for social work and for drug and alcohol case management. However, it’s not my everything like it used to be. Maybe that’s part of my Aquarian side; always changing what I like to do and how I do things because I get bored easily. I love mental health, but after close to three years of that being my primary focus, I feel like I have exhausted all of these blog posts without receiving more formal education which would allow me to write academic essays in regard to mental health/illness and publish correct sources and be more scientific than my thoughts and feelings.
So if I am not going to continue using mental health as a staple, what will I blog about?
That is an excellent question!
I think I am going to take a larger break from Precarious Aquarius and design a new logo and brand because it needs to be updated and I need more time to figure out what I want to do.
I have a passion for writing and I hope that never goes away. I am surprised I have written a few times a week for months and years on end is an accomplishment within itself. But I want to keep writing and find my passions to write about. In my head, I am exploring some creative writing and short essays and blog posts about some of my other passions such as budgeting, art work, and cooking. I am now engaged so I can document my engagement journey. Or I could do a couple of different things and differentiate the categories under certain tabs.
Hell, I may take a break from this blog and decide that mental health is my passion and I don’t want to fall off the wagon and take away tried and true content from my faithful subscribers. But then again, I think most people who follow my blog follow because I’m an intricate writer and I keep things interesting. But then again what do I know?
So things are still up in the air but I will let you all know something as soon as I know anything 🙂