Man, nothing feels better after having a four hour long panic attack than getting your shizzle together with some old fashioned planner work and getting prepped for school work.
If you want to know why I had a panic attack for four hours, read my last post about work. Fortunately I didn’t need hyrdroxyzine or any anti-anxiety meds to rid it; I just kind of rode the waves and felt what I need to felt.
Full disclosure: IT IS NOT WEAK OR “BAD” TO TAKE MEDS IF YOU NEED HELP WITH HOW YOU ARE FEELING. I personally wanted to see if I could overcome my anxiety and eventually I did. I was on the verge of popping a pill several times but couldn’t really partake because it makes me so tired and I am working a 15 hour shift.
I was feeling stressed about school starting in exactly one week so I read the syllabus’ for each of my classes, ordered textbooks and supplies, and mentally prepared that way. I made a brain dump in my planner of all the shit going on in my head and categorized each section into either school, home, or work. I have a few side bar sections one being what I wanted to online shop for, the second being what to look for in the mail in the next coming weeks and things I gotta do once I get home Monday morning. I have to turn in some documents to the office for my job. For school, I completed everything I can at work. I need to print out the syllabus for each class and get that ready. I will need to order an online math course but that isn’t available to me until the quarter officially begins.
As for home, I need to do laundry, change my sheets, get trash/recycling out of my room, vacuum and mop, clean bathroom, pick up meds from pharmacy, get vape coils for my mod, paint my nails, do my skincare routine, put my college parking permit sticker on my car and schedule a follow up for meds with my primary care doctor.
Now I get to await one amazon package, 2 from Ulta, a Kohls package (I got a gift card for that store for Christmas and I ordered two super nice dresses so I can go on dates with my boyfriend.) I am waiting on a new card so I can get new bras and stuff from Victorias secret (it’s not that I even like that store, I just don’t fit anywhere else lmao). Also waiting on two textbooks.
My classes should be interesting next quarter. I have one in person lecture one day a week and that is my SUDP group counseling class which should be interesting. The class only has four major assignments with a weekly discussion board and one of my assignments is going to 12 step meetings and observing and taking notes. As for my other class that is immediately after that class is my case management class which is a virtual lecture and it seems very tedious. Then I have my math in society class which is my last math class of my collegiate career and if I didn’t hate math so much I would say that’s almost bittersweet.
My work schedule is about to ramp up too. I am working 56 hours this week into next Monday. then I slow down to only four hours of overtime per week for the indefinite future. I feel like I am being pulled in a hundred different directions and I can’t slow down. I am going to try to spend this week with my boyfriend but with his work schedule and his car being out of commission sucks because I am doing all the driving. Not his fault he got in a car wreck (he’s fine his car is most likely totaled though). But whatcha gonna do, right?
Overall I feel pretty good mentally but I am tired and want some good sleep and soon. Maybe one day…..