Trying

4am and still at work. I am wearing a white sweatshirt with my red Mister Rogers sweater on over the sweatshirt and I am even wearing socks with my sandals and I am still cold. It’s August! I am going to have to bring my heater blanket to work because it gets too cold with out it.

I have been so bored and feel useless without my school work to do. I keep making lists and trying to find things to do at work besides reading that will keep me both awake and entertained. I mean, school will be here before you know it. So I should be counting my blessings but there is just nothing to do on a graveyard shift where everyone sleeps and I am left isolated.

Tonight I applied to four (?) mental health jobs at a local facility. I am ready to be back on day shift with the rest of civilization. I don’t even need to be on days, even swings would work just not 11pm-7am it just wrecks my sleep and mental health. One of the jobs I applied for was a discharge planner for the inpatient mental health unit and I really hope I get that job but if I got anyone of those jobs I would be better off. I may take a small pay cut but there are more overtime opportunities and the benefits are better plus we get paid twice a month instead of monthly.

I love my job I really do but realistically I am not sure how much longer I can go before I have a nervous break down. I love my clients and the impact I am making but sometimes you gotta look out for #1 meaning me. (I hope you all know me well enough that you hear my sarcasm through the words).

It is Monday morning so the company will get my application around 8am. I am sure I will get at least two interviews but we shall see. I am not trying to be too cocky now.

I got a gym membership at my old gym that costs like $20-22 a month for class access and gym access. I figure if I don’t use it, no harm no foul. But if I do, more power to me because I am out of shape. I need to create a work out plan. I want to go three days a week like Monday Wednesday Friday’s to start and ease myself into it. I know Diego’s mom does Zumba at this gym while her youngest goes to ABA therapy; maybe I could work out with her hahaha. She always liked me, maybe not to marry her son, but she liked me as a person.

Still waiting on a proof of employment letter from my work to give to the dealership to give to the lender. HR said she could email it to me on Tuesday but I am hoping she might have time today to do so. I am very anxious to get this 4runner and I have been paying insurance on a car I don’t even own yet. But I am strapped for cash so if I cancel the insurance and get a partial refund, I can’t then afford to renew the insurance in a couple of days once I get the vehicle because the partial refund won’t be as much as the new monthly premium. If that makes any sense.

I better start making my clients some French toast before next shift comes in so I won’t get yelled at for doing absolutely nothing for 12 hours.

Much love,

Dani

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