Hello and good evening from Dani at Precarious Aquarius! I don’t think I need an introduction considering Precarious Aquarius is a one woman show…. HOWEVER. In case you are new here or forgot, I am Dani, a 24 year old bipolar lady and this is my blog where I write sometimes about mental health issues and mostly about whatever the hell I want to write about.

I am getting over my random two day illness which is good because I don’t got time to sleep all day long. I woke up at 2am and closed out my budget for the month of February and it remained accurate because I don’t intend to spend any money between today and the 28th. I did all my homework for the week in the matter of a couple of hours. I did my psych 333 exam and didn’t do too hot, but some points is better than no points. I have learned in university that I really don’t test well. Meaning I have test anxiety and it’s not so much that I don’t know the content but I get nervous and work too quickly because these are timed exams and I freak out and choose the wrong answer.

However, mid terms are coming up and I need at least a C in each class. I think I can swing it except I might outright fail history. I am very behind in that class and frankly it isn’t a priority for me. It is needed for my degree but psychology classes determine where I got to grad school and I cannot retake biology I would die and fail and then die again. I enjoy my history class but just getting behind in school is hard and it’s nearly impossible to catch up.

But today was decent. I ate pretty healthy, I got all my homework done that is due tonight. I was able to do my one load of laundry, put it away and clean my room. It feels good. I am rather restless because my rim / wheel of my KIA is fucked up so I don’t feel safe driving my almost brand new car. I want to be spontaneous and get a different vehicle. My dream car is an electric Volvo XC40 which is a compact SUV, second being the newer Toyota RAV4s, and third being an older two door soft top Jeep Wrangler. So all super expensive cars either upfront or long term. I miss having a Jeep and I found an older one at the dealership for 16,000 that’s black, automatic transmission, soft top and it is gorgeous. But I owe 24k on my Kia, but the dealership pays 125% for the buy back of the vehicle so I would maybe get 19k of the 24k I owe. That leaves a deficit of 5k but even if I rolled over 5 grand negative equity into this Jeep, my monthly payment is still lower.

My dad and my mom think this is a horrendous idea but do agree I shouldn’t drive and further damage the wheel of my KIA. So I gotta get a quote on how much a wheel would be because if it is over a thousand dollars, I am trading the KIA in. I am over it I’ve had to replace tires three or four times in two and a half years I have had this vehicle. However, if it is 500 or less to fix the wheel and they can do it in a timely manner, then I will get it fixed and not use my impulsive behavior on getting a different car.

Of course, now I am sitting here alone, blogging. I am lonely and I don’t know what I can do about it. I am working on myself and I love and care for myself but it’s not that I am craving. I just want to find my person and that person to find (and want me). Sorry for being sad girl, but that’s how I feel.

I’ll stop here before it gets too sappy. But I hope everyone had a good weekend and has a good week!

much love,

Dani