I have to say that all day my anxiety was in check. I woke up at 4am and wrote a blog post. Around 6:30am I got up and asked my dad to make waffles for breakfast. He did and I was very excited to have something I normally don’t eat on the regular. I spoke with my mom for a while and then I took a shower. Started my biology homework and knocked out a few hours of it. I completed two of the three assignments due tonight. I have a bio lab due tonight and right now I am struggling with it. Science has never made much sense to me and so doing it at home, alone, and not in a biology lab is quite difficult. I am kind of shit out of luck because it’s the last day to turn the lab in. I have 1/3rd of it done and I might just turn it in to get some points on it versus no points.
Not to mention I have one overdue history paper, another history paper due tonight at midnight and three homework assignments for upper level psych. All due tonight at midnight. To say I’m stressed is an understatement. It all can be done, but not at the rate I am going at. Instead I am goofing off writing this. I should just finish this blog post up and just turn in what I have for bio, start my paper that’s due tonight and save the overdue paper for tomorrow and do my upper level psych homework because that is muy importante.
I wish I could rewind the clocks so I could have at least caught up with the curriculum rather than falling so far behind that I have to work ahead to stay in line with the class. I will be lucky if I have C’s all around by mid terms which are in a couple of weeks. I think after today and tomorrow I will be as caught up as I am going to get and all I can do is be vigilant and read a lot and try to ace each assignment so I don’t flunk out this term. Because that would be bad; I am pretty sure my student loans would be due now and I would have to repay a shit ton of money.
But I remain hopeful that either my grades miraculously turn around or I get hit my a truck and don’t have to do school anymore. I mean, the latter sounds less fun than the former, however beggars cannot be choosers. I put myself in a rough spot and I must suffer the consequences or pay the price for them sooner rather than later.
I hope things don’t get much worse. I did however get an interview next week for a manager in training position for a pharmacy in a town close to where I live and I am excited because any work is good work at this point. I have 5+ years of retail experience and lots of cash handling experience. So I think it would be a good place for me while I am in school. But we shall see what happens. I am not holding my breath, but I guess I said all the right things in the pre interview process so I just got to stay clean off weed for a minute and then I can pass a drug screen. So that would be cool.
I am going to skedaddle and try to do some work before I fall asleep.
much love to ya’ll warriors out there,