Blew it

Yesterday I skipped blogging because I didn’t get home until midnight last night. I went to karaoke with my best friend and it was a ball. I didn’t drink and I got to sing “Toxic” by Britney Spears and it was a good time. My friend got pretty blasted and it was fun how excited he got for me to sing since he’s never seen my karaoke before.

Prior to picking him up, my low tire sensor went off. It tends to do that in my newer car so I didn’t pay much mind to it. The gauge said 24 PSI while the other three tires said 35. I thought I could pick up my friend and we could go out and after dropping him off, I could fill my tire with air.

After we left the bar, my gauge said 5 PSI for that one tire so I found the closest gas station which luckily had a card reader so I paid two whole dollars to fill up the tire to 27 PSI. I dropped my friend off and I said I was gonna go to Taco Bell and then go home.

I got a text from my friend Chris who is stationed in Japan. We had been talking and I thought we would date once he got home from his work trip come April. He texts me saying that we can’t talk anymore and his girlfriend found out and I’m like what the fuck. What about us? Why did you lie to me if you liked someone else? I mean, we were talking serious relationship stuff here. I wasn’t talking to anyone else and he was showing my messages to some shipyard chick in Japan? I mean, I’m sending him messages about how much I missed him and was gonna send him a care package. He called me and I was sobbing, driving home and I asked why he didn’t tell me the truth and he didn’t know what to tell me and he said sorry in a half ass way.

Mind you, this is the same Chris who flew me to San Diego to be with him for a week before my second foot surgery in 2020. I had a video diary of him and I on this blog and he’s a great guy and is very considerate of my feelings and my bipolar-ness.

So this wasn’t adding up to me why he could all the sudden no longer talk to me but he was fine having me send inappropriate pictures via text a day earlier? He showed no sympathy or empathy to my emotions even though he knew I was emotionally invested. He just said Dani we can’t be doing this anymore sorry I don’t know what to say to your question. I said it was nasty what he did and I said sorry I have to go and hung up.

I cried until my car yelled at my when my tire had 1 PSI and I hear the front tire blow. I was about a hundred yards from a gas station in the town I live in so I luckily pulled into a spot and snapped the photo above. I called my dad crying that my tire blew but I was 1110% sober and I was not in jail this time around.

He picked me up and I spent all day Saturday the 19th dealing with a tow truck company to put the spare tire on for me. My car jack broke so I can’t do it myself. So four hours of waiting for this guy to show up to help me with my car, he comes over and says “you lucky you alive! Holy shit” The tire was shredded all around the perimeter of the wheel and the remains of the tire fell off of the rims.

I drove my car to Les Schwab on the spare tire and they of course don’t have any of my KIA Sportage tires in stock and they were all on back order. I was estimated to get the repair done in two weeks. So now I am vehicle-less for two weeks. I feel naked and stranded without my car.

So today (well what’s left of today) has become a homework day. I need the time to catch up but of course I am lacking motivation because I am small and sad about the Chris thing and the car thing. And I also didn’t get the job I interviewed for on Friday with my company so now I am 0 for 2. I applied to a bunch of random jobs but now I might have to hold back until my car is fixed.

The good news is that my tax refund should be deposited into my account early next week so I can pay all my bills up until April 2nd. So that buys me some time to find work and get established otherwise I would be shit out of luck.

Another good thing and this is always a good thing is I didn’t gamble today and a sober day is always a good day. Now back to the books for me. Enjoy this pre going out selfie I took prior to me getting shit on yesterday by everyone and everything.

much love,

Dani

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