My mental health has been okay lately, I would say. Nothing new to really report. Another day of school is done and I am still in disbelief on how I got here. Kind of like imposter syndrome, like I don’t belong to be where I am at.
I am taking two lower level classes and two higher end classes, but all of them seem equally as hard in my humble opinion. Just finished my first history quiz and got a 6.33/10 which plummeted my grade to that 63% number which kills me inside. It was open book and I read all 35 pages of globalization in the drug trade of tobacco, coffee, and rum and I was trying to pay attention but it was difficult near the end as my eyes start to glaze over the virtual computer page.
My first attempt I got half right. Luckily, I did better in the second and final attempt by 1.33 points. Which, hey, improvement is improvement. I decided I don’t learn well reading online textbooks. I like flipping through the pages and highlighting and writing notes in the margin. I understand you can do the same with a virtual book, but it’s just not the same when I’m reading to study the literature. Hopefully my physical textbooks and supplies get here soon.
I got a few discussion board comments to do tomorrow morning and then a lot of biology reading. Fortunately, I do have a physical textbook for that class so I can make notes and have my way with it, I feel exhausted already just thinking about it. I need to get my morning routine down a little faster so I have more time for school. I want to get ahead in these first two weeks before I start my new job, but it will be hard considering how difficult all my classes are.
I feel like the demands in my life are sneaking up on me and now attacking me, if that makes any sense. As in, I had no responsibilities and now they are all hitting me at once. Which sucks but hey such is life.
I am thankful that I am medicated and semi healthy and able to do what I got to do to be successful. Just need to give myself a little locker room pep talk before I start school tomorrow. I am not a failure nor am I a quitter. I gotta get this right and do well; there is no room for failure. I am gonna go for now and hopefully my two psychology classes gives me inspiration for new content and maybe a new blog series, but at the moment I am brain dead and don’t know how I’m managing to write a second blog post for the day.
In other news, I made carne asada for dinner and Diego picked up beans and rice and it was delightful. I worked this evening on school and completed more than anticipated and completed assignments are good because I can now focus on upcoming things. It is 9:20pm my time and now it is time to relax. I had a shot of tequila and now I’m tired and probably will fall asleep when my head touches the pillow.