Shifting Gears, shifting moods

Photo by David Bartus on

Sorry to you all for being a Dani Downer lately. But I guess shifting moods, even the depressing ones is the name of the game with bipolar disorder. I think I was starting to take for granted the luxury of having fairly regular moods with minimal highs and lows; I felt as normal as I could feel. I think despite me feeling like crap as of lately, I still want to end the year strong and take advantage of the vacation I have off of school.

I looked at the calendar and January 10th is like two weeks away so I really don’t have much time to get my butt into gear for this new semester. I still need to pay tuition and get books. I think I should be good on supplies minus biology class. I am not sure how lab heavy this class will be and how it will be done since I am not physically going to school, I am taking classes online.

I am like 75% done with moving in with Diego. I got to unpack five boxes here and take the empty boxes to my parents’ house and load up the remaining stuff which isn’t more than some clothes, my dresser and contents and my desk things. Plus my paintings and WSU flag on the wall which will mainly all go into my now probably over crowded office. Oh, and my reading chair. Probably could fit everything in two more trips, one if I pack smart.

I applied to a bunch more jobs yesterday because I need something in the meantime between now and January 24th and if I could find something that pays better or pays tips in addition to an hourly wage that would be great. My dad is helping me through the next week and a half but by the 15th, my $500 car payment is due and that’s a lot of money and I don’t want to have to pay him back more than I already do. He and my mom have sacrificed so much for me this year with my DUI and everything that I can’t be more of a burden this next year. Every time I borrow money, I feel like I am personally taking away from my dad retiring soon. He’s older and could retire but wants to wait til he’s 70 years old but I feel like that’s partly my fault for the financial messes I have accrued and he’s had to bail me out.

So whatever I can find job wise sooner is great. I applied for a hostess position because I don’t think I could ever be a waitress or server. But hostess seemed doable. I am friendly and I applied to a local brewery that I figured would get good tips because it’s more upscale in the area.

But we shall see if worse comes to worst, I will apply for whatever will have me start work the same day. I am getting desperate.

I’ll try to think of some entertaining or at least interesting content between now and the end of the year so stay tuned. I have a feeling I am gonna switch some things up come 2022!

Much love,


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