Full circle

This photo was from a mini photo shoot that my mom took with my old Canon EOS M50 when I still was into photography. I still enjoy photo taking but not on that larger scale. This photo was taken in November of 2020, peak of COVD-19 and I thought we could never be more in love.

I was wrong.

I don’t think I have loved Diego more than I do right now, which I didn’t know was possible.

It makes me smile thinking we have these types of memories. I know he hated going to take photos but they are so cute and turned out well and I still had my long hair before I rage quit and got a pixie cut which I am currently rocking.

Three years ago today, I ended my engagement with Diego. Crazy, right? It was the right choice at that time in my life. I would have hurt him more if I walked down that aisle without him than I did leaving him on his porch that night.

Yesterday I asked Diego why I don’t move in. I know I had been thinking it for a while, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I said, “Can I ask you something?”

He replied, “I’m gonna get mad if it has to do with marriage or a wedding.”

“No I promise it’s not about any of that. Cross my heart.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“Why don’t we move in together? I am here more than half the time anyway; my GPS thinks I live here now. Not only that but when I start working I will pay for all groceries and the power bill so you don’t have to bitch about the heater always being on. I’ll even pay the HOA dues! All I want is to live here with you so I can see you and Poncho everyday and help out with Poncho. What do you say?”

“What about your mom’s mental health? She isn’t doing great…”

“I go home every other day anyways and I can visit her after work or when I am done with school. Same as I do now until she gets better. Do we have a deal.”

I hold out my hand.

“Well I do want help with Poncho so he doesn’t destroy more shit….”

“I’ll help with bills so you have more money to save to pay off your car and other debt.”

He grabs my hand, “Deal.”

He later asked if I wanted the other bedroom and I laughed and said no I will sleep where I normally sleep. I just want the office for a school space and my old desk back. He said deal.

In other news, I finished my last final for school which means school’s out for winter! I have a break until January 10th and I think my dad and I are going to Oregon the last week of the month to see my grandma who has Alzheimer’s. Not to sound rude, but for lack of a better term she is completely invalid. Cannot do anything on her own and cannot speak. Supposedly she can swallow her pills still, but I am not sure if that will last much longer. She will be 89 on the 31st, so it’s not like she hasn’t lived a full life.

Now I gotta slowly start packing my things and move back in and hopefully never move back out. I think over the past three years I have moved in and out of Diego’s four or five times. I despise moving, but If I slowly transition it shouldn’t be so bad. Goal is to be all moved in before school starts next semester which is totally feasible.

I had one job interview yesterday that went well. I have an interview this morning and then one tomorrow afternoon. So hoping one of these works; that would be the best Christmas present. A job! So excuse me now I must go dream of how I want to design my office haha.

Much love,


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