Thankful, Grateful, Blessed.

Photo by Sasha Prasastika on

Happy Monday and 1st of November for 2021! It feels refreshing and like a good time to rest for the rest of the year now that the first day of the month starts on a Monday. Gotta start your pre holiday season diets now and lose a few pounds before we gain it all back by January 1st hahaha.

As cheesy as it sounds, the month of November does make it easier to reflect on what makes me feel (like the title reads) “thankful, grateful, blessed.” This year isn’t even over yet and it’s been a roller coaster alright. Not good, but not bad. Just… a lot to take in. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and see what comes to mind.

I started the year in college…

The first Monday of January I started back up at community college. I started off strong as I had applied to the University of Washington as a transfer student and as a way to “prove” that I could do university, I gave community college another shot.

When I got denied admission to UW, I felt defeated. My grades started to slip as my math class was quite difficult requiring 4 hours of homework a night, not to mention my other class and working 45 hours a week working in ABA therapy as a behavior assistant.

By my birthday, February 6th, I applied to Washington State University’s Global campus where I could complete a Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology all online. At this point, I had been sober from gambling almost six months. I also acquired a little puppy with Diego that we named Poncho Ferdinand. A friend of Diego’s sister needed to re-home her houndy boy and within two hours of driving to meeting with sister and friend, we brought home what we knew as Theodore and received all of his belongings.

Poncho got sick really quickly. He got a severe rash on his muzzle which was determined by the vet as “puppy strangles”. The strangles strangled him of strength, energy, and appetite. We had to load him up with antibiotics and weren’t sure if he would live or not.

By March, he had gotten better and Diego and I’s relationship was over with. I moved back home and continued to ignore school for the most part. I had lost my job around my birthday due to lack of work in the area so I went job hunting.

I had gotten into some legal trouble…

By the second week of work, I had to call out of work because I had been in jail the night prior. I don’t think I have told this explicitly on my blog quite yet because I wanted some time to settle the wounds and for the legal matters to mostly work themselves out. On March 30th, around 11:30pm, I was arrested for driving under the influence. I was literally a mile from my house, almost home from the bar when I got pulled over because the side of my car was smashed in.

Nobody was on the road, I didn’t hurt anyone, thank God with all my heart. About two miles going north on the highway, I hit the concrete median on my driver’s side door because I fell asleep whilst driving. I cannot stress how resentful and remorseful I am for my actions, not to me because I deserve to feel and go through what I am going through, but to my family and to all the people who have suffered because of my actions. If you saw the damage on my vehicle, you would know that it easily could have been my dead body over the side of the median that night.

I was in jail almost five hours when my parents came to bail me out. I am crying as I type this. My dad saw me and he just hugged me and my mom hugged me too and we just bawled. Nobody wanted my actions to come to this. I had been riding a tight rope for a long time and this was the time to get my shit together and stop drinking and going out all the time and having sex with random strangers.

So recovery began…

I didn’t really miss the alcohol, but I missed going out because I had friends I would see at the bar. I was fortunate in all that this cluster fuck of a situation was because at the jail, I blew a 0.079 which in the U.S., specifically in Washington State, that is technically (and barely) under the legal limits of driving. After six court dates of mostly postponements, in August I was placed on probation for two years with the promise that I don’t drink and drive, my charge will be dropped down to a negligent driving. I will receive, if I succeed and I will, no more jail time, just more fines and fees for that.

Staying sober was easy for the fact that I had no car. My car was in the shop for a month and a half and my mom had to drive me to and from work every day. The total monetary damage of my vehicle was $8,500 which wasn’t enough to total out the car which I was hoping it would because I have GAP insurance on the car. But insurance only cost me the $500 deductible that I was happy to pay rather than nearly 10 grand.

I gave all my booze to Diego and we slowly started talking again due to my DUI. If I wasn’t going to work or to home, I could go over to Diego’s and see the dog.

Then surgery #3

I had my third foot and leg surgery on May 7th, 2021. It is now starting to feel like normal again. I was off work for two months and my leave got extended out because I was working at a car dealership. Then I got terminated because I didn’t come back to work and I didn’t give them a time frame I would have been back. I had been applying to jobs so I wasn’t too concerned about that job that I didn’t like.

I got accepted I believe on May 30th to Washington State University’s Global Campus. for my Bachelor’s of Science in Psychology. I was over the moon about this and it started to feel like everything was coming together.

By July, I was working not one, but two jobs.

I landed a gig back at the mental health facility that I used to work at right after I originally got hurt at the shipyard. And then I got another retail job because the mental health gig was only once a week. I was able to get established at both jobs when I got incredibly sick with my bladder disease. I got two bladder infections back to back for about two months of trying to figure out what was wrong and ER visits and doctor visits. All while I was starting my first week of online classes at university.

Luckily I got the three weeks off of work to recover from my mystery illness and in-between doctor’s visits, I made time to do my school from my bed.

I think a lot of it was stress induced and usually that does flare up my bladder disease. I ended up quitting my retail job mid September and that eased a lot of my worries as I picked up extra shifts at my mental health job that I made a lot more money at.

At Midterms, I had an estimated GPA of a 3.5

This was pretty damn cool considering my gpa in high school was barely above a 2.5 and to get spam emails for a fake honor roll society was very cool. I felt honored for my hard work. I don’t know if they base honor roll decisions based off of mid term or semester or yearly grades, but I am killing it so far, so that makes me happy and makes my family and Diego proud of me.

I’ve been a good girl, overall.

I haven’t gone out since August since all my spare time is either at work, home, or Diego’s where I am working on this blog, my finances, or school. It doesn’t leave me much time to do much else. I am truly thankful for all that I have in my life. As of last month, I am compliant with all my probation protocols and all I must do is wait my two years and continue being good to receive a negligent driving on my record rather than a misdemeanor DUI. I am not sure what’s on my record at this point because I am still in between court hearings and they haven’t ordered me a citation for what I have done. But either way, if I never have to set foot in jail, I will be happy.

I am thankful and grateful for God’s lessons and blessings in my life, no matter how big or how small. I was walking a dangerous rope and I am thankful that only my car was damaged and not someone or something much more precious. I am thankful I am going down the straight and narrow as of the past few months. I have been taking my meds since June, I think. And since then I feel almost normal. There are some days and moments that are worse than others, but I feel good over all.

I go to my primary doctor tomorrow and we get to figure out some of the other health issues I have been having.

So what are you thankful, grateful, and blessed by?

Much love,


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