I woke up at 2am today because I went to bed incredibly early. I woke up at 4am yesterday, did stuff all day long, and took 0 naps. So I went to bed around 9pm and my body was like, “oh my goodness! You got more restful sleep, time to do the same thing today!” However, I do think now that I am adjusting to the cpap machine, my hypomania is getting worse because I am requiring less sleep to do the same hard work over again.

Like I said, I woke up at 4am yesterday and did my budget on the app Notion. 4:45am rolled around, and Diego’s alarm went off so I made him a lunch to take to work with him. After that I left to go home. He told me to stay and relax, but I forgot my vape mod batteries at home so it was essential that I got my second set of batteries so I wasn’t without nicotine.

I go down my street and I see my dad driving to the gym. I think it is rather amusing because he runs around 5-6 miles nearly every day, mind you, not well or quickly, but he does it. Yet when we live not even a half mile away from the gym, he drives to the gym to go lift weights which he refers to as his “20 minute miracle”. I told him my game plan and he was pleased.

I got home, showered and shaved, Game plan was to clean my room, go to orthopedic urgent care to follow up on my foot swelling, call my one job about not being able to attend orientation due to my other new job that I will be starting soon. I put more clothes and accessories online to sell so that I could have some spending money rather than having a zero balance. Medical leave denied me benefits I am not sure to as of why, but it means I’m shit out of luck for close to $2,000 – all because I needed surgery for an injury that the Navy caused and would no longer pay for. But I digress.

I spent the early morning listing clothes on marketplace through Facebook. After that, I went to urgent care and the PA talked to my surgeon and they asked about blood clots and I said I got those ruled out through ultrasound at the ER. But he kept saying “Yup! Your feet look pretty swollen, that sucks.” I felt like saying yeah, no shit. But I deemed that to be rude. My surgeon said to do what I have been doing, but less activity and more elevation. She told me to start physical therapy asap so they can manually remove the edema (fluid) in my foot and that should relieve some of the pressure.

I have a follow up appointment on the 29th of this month so hopefully things get better by then. I then went to the bank to make a partial car payment and get some cash out for my little bit of spending money I could use. I figured to help me budget better, I would use cash rather than my debt card so I have a physical representation of what I am spending /have spent.

I went to the grocery store to get almond milk. I bought protein powder not too long ago so I could start making protein shakes in the morning for breakfast. I can only eat eggs so often as an easy form of protein breakfast so at least this way, I am getting more than enough protein and hopefully can work on reducing carbs in my diet so I can lose weight. I finally tipped over the 200 pound mark and being a female at 5′ tall, I am insanely overweight and it makes me cringe every time I see myself or look in the mirror.

I also bought some watermelon, bananas, rainier cherries, almond milk, and some boxed chai tea lattes that you put in the fridge and drink with some vanilla coffee creamer and it tastes like an authentic chai tea latte on ice. $19.90 later with Diego’s employee discount, I look for Diego who was working. I told him I had a little mad money so I asked if he wanted anything like booze. He said he had enough alcohol at the house, but Poncho chewed on his weed pen so he needed a new cartridge. I went next door and got him one and damn. I found a new reason why I can’t / shouldn’t smoke weed which is that it’s too damn expensive plus the place I went to was highway robbery, but once they rang me up, I just wanted to buy and leave.

I dropped by physical therapy and they took my paperwork and were able to do the initial consult tomorrow. I only have 4 weeks of pt versus 8 – 12 so I am happy to get this all over with.

I went home to call my retail job to reschedule orientation yet again because they usually did orientation on Wednesdays and that is my 12 hour shift day at the mental health place, so this job graciously said I could come in for four hours on Tuesday the 20th. This means I won’t get paid until much later this month, but at least I have two jobs and I willl soon have income.

Everything kind of fell into place today, which was very good. Diego stopped by after work and I gave him his present and he said later on he enjoyed it. I got a message from my sister’s old ex boyfriend, whom I am very close to. We talked and hung out for about a hour at my parents’ house and he offered to clean my parents’ gutters and do some work around the house for free ninety nine. My parents are older so they can’t do the maintenance for their two story, 2000 square foot home like they used to. My mom said not today but maybe sometime next weekend or after he got off work.

I think it’s all rather amusing because my sister’s now husband offered to clean the gutters for $300 and pressure wash the house only if he got paid and my parents’ rented a pressure washer. I guess after nearly two years of him offering that, he never got around to doing so with his busy schedule (he doesn’t have a 9-5 job) (extreme sarcasm). Yet her ex was there 5 minutes as we talked and smoked outside that he couldn’t stand the way the gutters looked and he said he could pop out the screen of my bedroom window, get on the roof and clean the gutters.

Now, mind you, he is a 01 electrician working more than full time and has a farm at home to tend to. Yet he made the effort and point to help my parents out and he has absolutely no reason why he might have to do that. We talked a lot about life happenings and when he got home he said how much he enjoyed hanging out and wanted to bring his girlfriend over to play games one of these days.

I love his girlfriend; she did debate team for the neighboring high school so I have known her longer than Boone, my sister’s ex. He talked about them possibly getting married and he said all of us were invited. I am happy that despite things not working out between my sister and him, we all stayed family friends. I know he is kinda in a rough spot because his dad died I think 4 years ago in a motorcycle accident over memorial day weekend right after he bought a house in eastern Washington. My dad worked with his dad funny enough and at the memorial and Boone and my dad became very close after that. His mom lives far away so it’s kinda like we are the only family he has around which is sad but I am happy that we remain close despite going months without talking.

I spent the rest of the evening icing my swollen foot, watching YouTube, and writing in my new planner. I tried to clean more but my foot was very angry and swollen so I followed the surgeon’s orders to take it easy.

I slept about 5 hours and I am ra ra ready to go but I realized it’s nearly 4am; the middle of the night. I would go back to sleep but I am not tired. I need the depression to come back so I can have this hypomania during the school year so I have time and energy to do my school work.

Well I think that’s it for me and the daily update.

Much love,

Dani