I woke up today after sleeping 14 + hours with extreme nausea. Ended up getting sick. I was feeling fine all day yesterday, so it’s hard for me to tell if the sickness I feel is due to withdrawals from the opiates or if it has to deal with my stomach issues that I have had for the past year and a half. But the stomach issues I was having before didn’t come with body aches, severe fatigue, chills, etc. But I also did have my COVID-19 vaccine on Tuesday, but I didn’t think the side effects would last this long.

Either way, whatever it is, I feel like crap. My bladder disease is also acting up so I have the urgency and discomfort that goes along with regular UTI symptoms without the UTI. I just want to crawl back into bed and avoid all responsibilities.

Besides finally being productive in the middle of the day around 2pm, I did do what I needed to do today. I only got one thing off my checklist done, but it’s the thing I had to get done, which is dad signing the master promissory notes and acknowledgements for my student loans.

Why my dad has to sign on my loan makes no sense to me. It’s not so much that the concept bothers me, but if I have been claiming to be an independent person on my own tax returns for the past five years, why am I considered to be a dependent student and my dad has to sign or co-sign with me on my student loans? Like if I were to have the financial means to pay my debt upon graduation, why couldn’t I do that rather than involving him and potentially ruin his credit score if I don’t pay or default on the loan? Since most people defer payments until six additional months AFTER graduation and I would have a job by then, why do I have to have my parents on the loan with me?

I’m not sure if any of that made sense, but I do understand the concept that so many students DO default or try to declare bankruptcy so they need someone with usually more income, better credit score, and someone is supposedly more reliable to pay the bills, especially with federal student loans from the department of education. I mean, for their purposes, they need someone on the hook for when the student’s plan backfires and payment is mandatory.

I would never default on my student loans, even if I was financially struggling because you cannot escape that debt, even if I were to go bankrupt. But I guess you never know what the economy will face in the upcoming years when it comes time for me to pay off student loans, so never say never! Wow, this sounds so morbid, like I’m setting myself up to fail. But this all is the reality of the world we face in; well in a country whose taxes don’t pay for post high school education.

Dad bitched and moaned about missing the ball game in order to sign the online paperwork and read through all the disclosures, but I reminded him that he wants to do this so he’s not getting screwed over, but it is protocol and something new so we want to look through it together in order to have a grip on what I am supposed to do.

I can’t fathom the struggles that some kids face due to being “dependent” in the eyes of student loans. Whether you don’t have the money, credit score, or capabilities of getting scholarships, grants or loans. Let alone those who have deadbeat parents who don’t care or are not apart of their student’s life and would not cosign or help pay for student loans.

The point I’m trying to make is that I am fortunate to still have my dad around who is willing to help me out with my loans and even if going to help me pay tuition. I told him he didn’t have to help, but he wants to help, at least while he can before retirement. I know times are kind of shaky for my parents because my dad is a very valuable asset at his work because he is apart of a certain niche and it’s hard to duplicate his nearly 50 years of experience in the industry.

My dad works marine construction. He’s not the iron worker or an engineer, he is a contract administrator and the only one in his company who has done all of the admin jobs and has the niche specific knowledge about tugboats, bridges, etc. His company helped build the Narrows Bridge that runs from Tacoma. Wash. to Gig Harbor, Wash. and the 520 bridge project which is a floating bridge that leads from Seattle to Bellevue.

Although he is very niche and makes good money, he will be 65 next month which scares us all because his company is so big that he doesn’t know if he will be forced out or replaced by a younger version of him, making 1/3 of the amount he makes.

So the fact that he wants to use his valuable resources (income) to help me with school is very special to me. But he wants to help and as much as I would rather him focus on downsizing his house and put all funds toward their possibly very near retirement, he won’t take no for an answer. He says he is happy to contribute while he still is working.

It’s kind of ridiculous the house my parents have. This was going to be their forever home when they bought it back in 2006. Now that my dad has about 5 years left on the mortgage, he and mom are having trouble getting up and down the stairs everyday and the house isn’t too big, but it’s big enough where my mom gets overwhelmed by cleaning all the nooks and crannies. My thought of the 60 and 64 year old is that these problems are only going to get worse as they age, so I keep telling them both to start downsizing now. Get a dumpster and throw a bunch of shit in there that they don’t use anymore and be done with it. Then after downsizing, they should move into a one story mobile home or small house and put the extra hundreds of thousands toward their retirement.

But what do I know? I’m just a college student with debt bleeding out my ears.

Well tomorrow is an exciting day, I have my advising academic session with my school and then I get to sign up for classes. So Psychology degree here I come!

Much love,

Dani