Yesterday, Friday, May 7th around 10:30 am I had my third foot surgery and second ever leg surgery. I say it was successful considering I am still here and able to get around on crutches pretty well.

My dad couldn’t take off work and due to COVID, I had to go have surgery alone in the hospital without any friends or family. It was a little lonely, but I got out of recovery petty quickly because I asked to go home ASAP. I was in severe pain after surgery, but I just wanted to be in the comfort of my own home.

Mom drove me there and Diego picked me up since mom didn’t have a cell phone. He brought his little brother Pablo, who has Down syndrome and autism because he had to watch Pablo. I hadn’t seen him for a few months and he is now 5′ tall at 11 years old! He is growing so fast and is growing up.

Diego called my mom to let her know we were on our way. When Diego turned down the music, Pablo tapped his shoulder signifying to turn it back on.

Once we got to my mom’s house, mom came outside and Pablo ran inside to turn on the fire place like he normally does. Apparently he turned off the fan and unplugged it and then plugged it back in so it would turn on high. Pablo is very into mechanics and how things work. He is pretty darn smart! The fireplace made It hot so he turned on the fan so he could cool down and look at the fire.

Then my mom brought out my scooter so I wheeled up to the steps and we put one scooter wheel on the front porch and Diego and my mom took my arms and scooter up so I could put my good foot on the concrete. We did this one more time til I got into the house.

Once I got settled in, my mom gave Pablo the biggest hug. He is becoming more verbal too because when mom said, “Pablo” he responded in his puberty ridden voice “what?’ She asked if she could have a hug and he gave her the biggest hug ever. Diego was trying to hurry out the door and I asked if Pablo could give me a hug on the house, so he tells Pablo in Spanish something something ‘Abrazo Dani’.

I was laying down on the couch with my leg propped up and then Pablo started getting on the couch with me and tried laying on top of me, almost kicking my bad foot. And Diego yells, “no Pablo! She has an owie.” It was cute but I knew if Diego hasn’t intervened, Pablo would have definitely kicked my foot. I said goodbye to Diego and was much appreciative of him helping my mom and I to get inside the house; a feat we couldn’t have done ourselves.

They left shortly after. I got home about 3:30pm which was sooner than I thought. I was super nauseous so I have an anti nausea sticker on my beck and had some Phenergan which is a strong sedative and anti nausea so I took that along with my Percocet. Mom made me one can of chicken noodle soup with buttered saltines which hit the spot, despite how sick I felt.

Mom gave me some pound cake for dessert, but I was nodding off, sitting up due to my meds. I ate quickly so I could fall asleep and did so until about 6 or 7pm. My dad got home early and so he made me popcorn, my favorite. I took more of my meds, but didn’t sleep immediately this time. I made a post on Facebook that surgery went well. They took out some hardware, cleaned up the tendon and made sure it wasn’t too torn, and did a gastroc recession.

I have had a gastroc recession about ten years ago to help with movement. It is a cut in my calf to cut a tendon and let scar tissue grow over that. With physical therapy I should be able to run and stuff once I am recovered because this allows for more flexibility.

So I had two major surgeries all at once. I am trying to use my narcotics as little as possible, because I don’t want this to affect my sobriety. I am taking extra precautions so I don’t become addicted or get withdrawals once I take my last pill.

Now I don’t think I have a pill problem by any means, but that isn’t to say addiction can’t creep up on you at any time. My mom told me yesterday that she had no interest in my pills (narcotics were her poison of choice, even over alcohol). She also said she wasn’t about to do anything to jeopardize her 5 year sobriety anniversary in October.

It is a huge relief not having to hide my pills or have to stay somewhere else so I can keep taking my medication.

I do, however, feel like I am ruining my sobriety by taking something that is prescribed to me. I know this is different, but I don’t have guilt when I take benzodiazepines like Xanax. I guess if my intention was to get high, that would be one thing, but I am not drug seeking nor am I looking for a high. I don’t even take the whole dose could take despite me needing it to help with pain.

I took my meds about an hour ago, but my ankle is throbbing, even with the ice on it. I am so swollen and uncomfortable so I can’t sleep. Hence the 4am blogging. I am getting hungry though but I don’t want to bother my mom or dad anymore than I already have tonight. Granted, all I asked for was a new ice pack, but they need their rest too.

…

I just decided to take a second pill. This is getting ridiculous. I just want to sleep! Maybe I’ll read a book to occupy me but we shall see.

Much love,

Dani