Forward

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I got a phone call on Thursday morning from my best friend. It was 8:48am. I rolled over and dozed off. Diego got out of bed, kissed my forehead, and got up to let Poncho, our dog out.

9:06am. I see he left a voicemail, my best friend, that is. He was at work and just started his shift. I just didn’t think much of the timing. Normally I would have been alarmed.

I listened to the voicemail. His voice was cracking, he was in the car. Before I could come to any rash conclusions, through the sobs I hear, “Dani, I know you are probably asleep right now but… my mom died. I am heading to the house now and I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”

My hand automatically covers my mouth, I could imagine how horrified I looked. Diego snapped his head up and back at me. He heard the voicemail too. This was someone that Diego had known for a decade and I seven years. Well, my friend, not his mother. My nose stings and my heart breaks. I try to call my friend back, but no answer.

I text him and no response. Not til later did he respond, rightfully so. He was safe. Okay as he could be and surrounded by immediate family. I felt helpless and horrible for not answering his phone call.

Prior to that, it had been an eventful week. A corticosteroid was injected into the side of my foot. I meet back with the orthopedic surgeon on March 31st to either put me in crutches and a hard cast for the following two months or to have surgery. At this rate, I am in more pain now than ever. The steroid shot has not relieved any pain and I felt as though during the procedure, the tendon ruptured rather than feeling like the tendon in my foot was being restored or saved from being ruptured.

There was a chance that it rupturing could happen, but the chance of doing nothing and having the tendon rupture on its own was much higher. I am not sure which is worse.

Later on Wednesday, I was given a drug test for work in the late morning. By afternoon, I received an email and phone call congratulating me as the newest quality assurance manager for Honda at the local dealership.

I got into contact with Diego that evening to share the good news. I spent the night over there and woke up to the horrific news about my friend’s mother the following morning.

I have been sleeping inconsistently in order to be there for him if need be. He hasn’t reached out during the night, but I find myself constantly checking my phone all throughout just in case. I spent the next few days with Diego and Poncho. I didn’t want a relationship with him, but he does have the ability to almost treat me like a queen… well, if and when he wants to; on his terms.

Friday I got an email from Washington State University. I was asked to write a personal statement which would determine whether or not I earned admission into the university. The personal statement basically has to entail why my grades have been so shitty and what I am going to do to improve it. I figure my writing skills are enough above average to earn a no frills admittance to the university, all paid for by my friends at Freddie Mac and Fannie May… which I would then be paying for the rest of my existence. Gotta love student loans.

My goal is to submit my statement by Sunday evening to allow ample time for admissions to review my file. I have yet to start on that.

Saturday was fine. Accomplished a minor portion of my laundry and fought with Diego. Nothing new there… I returned some work clothes I purchased the day before because I couldn’t try on the new clothes due to COVID-19 in the store. I got some more things I didn’t really need, but wanted so that was good.

I have been thinking a lot about death lately due to my friend’s situation. I don’t know what to do or how to help him. The Bible verse that came to mind when I first heard of her passing was “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away, that is the way of the Lord.” Which essentially discusses the story of Job losing everything because Satan tried to interfere with Job’s faithfulness to the Lord. If I remember correctly, this was Job’s response to the Lord allowing Satan to tempt his faith.

In other words, we as humans, have the free will to either turn towards God or turn away entirely. God and Satan will tempt our belief systems to its core whether it be with death, major life changes, or whatever it may be. But through faith and trust in the process that God will guide us and not lead us astray, we grow in our relationships with Him.

I start my new position tomorrow. I do online onboarding from home and go into the office on Tuesday. I am excited, but always am a little nervous whenever starting a new job or a new endeavor.

Back to cleaning and prepping for the week to come! Tune in next time; exciting and new things are about to come here at Precarious Aquarius!

Much love and stay strong and true, ya’ll.

Dani

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