#Blogtober20 – Day 8
As I pondered what I should write for today’s Blogtober post, I thought of going with the original prompt for the project. Today’s topic was Millennium. Considering the fact that I am a zoomer, I knew that wouldn’t work considering the fact that I don’t even remember the turn of the millennium. (I was 2 years old then.)
Then I wondered who would want to marry me now; if I had the desirable traits for someone to court me and then marry me. Then I wondered if there was a clear cut method for one to love themselves. That was the winner!
So here I am, trying to figure out how I got to a place in my life where I truly loved myself. I know I am not alone in wondering how one could love themselves at all, or just a little bit more than they do now. I know I struggled with finding peace within myself about me and my character traits for a long time. So here are some tried and true tricks and tips for helping you love yourself at least a little more than you do now.
1. Create a list of all the things you love or like about yourself.
This is a hard list to make, especially when you doubt yourself or your abilities. The goal is to find 10 things you like about yourself. Depending on who you are, it can be quite difficult to make it to 10, so do what you can. Your list can include talents or hobbies you have, character traits that are good, traits that others say they like about you, and so on.
This is my list of what I like about myself:
- I am a good writer
- I am very empathetic towards others
- I am a good artist
- I am a hard worker
- I always mean well
- I am determined in all aspects of life
- I am spontaneous
- I am friendly
- My commitment to God
- I’m a go-getter
It’s harder to write 10 things down than you would think, huh?
2. Write why your list matters; why does it matter that you are good at art or that you’re a go-getter.
Explain in detail why each item on your list matters. It’s ok if it takes some time to think of why the things you’re good at or your character traits matter to you. As long as it gets done, that’s all that matters 🙂
I will give you an example using my list from earlier.
I am a good writer and that matters to me because my words make an impact on people’s lives. My blog is modestly successful and I am proud that people read what I have to say and take away a meaningful message from it.
I am very empathetic towards others because we all face adversity and everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and kindness no matter what, even I deserve empathy.
I am a good artist and that matters to me because my art makes me feel better about myself. It is an excellent coping mechanism for my bipolar disorder and I love giving my artwork away to those that appreciate my talent.
I am a hard worker and make an impact on others lives because I make things easier on my co-workers and bosses with the type of work I complete. I am a team player and enjoy making others lives easier and better due to my efforts.
I always mean well with my actions and words because I never want to intentionally or unintentionally hurt anyone. I may fail sometimes, but that’s okay because I am never malicious with anything that I do.
I am determined in all aspects of life and that is important because it motivates me to be my best self and show that to others and to myself whether it be in my personal or professional life.
I am friendly to everyone I meet and talk to and that’s important because you don’t know the adversities that other people are facing.
I’m a go-getter and that matters because I am determined to get what I need or want and I won’t take no for an answer.
My commitment to God matters because through my devotion to Him, I am transformed into a better human being day in and day out.
Now you have a comprehensive list of why you should love yourself. But that doesn’t mean you do love yourself or that you will love yourself after making your own list of things you love about yourself. Your list could mean absolutely nothing to you. And that’s okay. You’ll get there.
So how does one love themselves if their list doesn’t help? Well one thing I know about people is that they only accept the love that they think that they deserve. If you think you are unworthy of love, you won’t accept the love that you’re trying to give yourself. That also means that if a significant other tries to love on you, you won’t accept that either until you can learn to love yourself. If you think you deserve to be treated like utter dog shit, there are people out there who will treat you that way.
I know it took me years to find it in my own heart to forgive myself for all the terrible things that I’ve done. After I was able to forgive myself for past trauma and what have you, I was able to begin to accept love that I thought I deserved. But I quickly learned that the only person who was going to give me that sort of unconditional love besides God, was me. By loving myself unconditionally, it allowed others the permission to love me for who I am; they saw the person I wanted to be and the person I was becoming.
For those who are struggling to love themselves, I see you. I know what you’re going through. As hard as it is to be by yourself and sit with your emotions, it is a crucial piece in order to find your own happiness. Let me be the many to tell you: you are WORTHY, you are DESIRABLE, you are BEAUTIFUL, you are PRECIOUS, and you are INTELLIGENT.
Hopefully this writing exercise helps you with learning to love yourself, no matter where you stand with loving yourself. If it’s any help or consolation at all, you matter, and I believe in you. I wish you all the love and happiness that this world can offer you.