After the relentless fighting the other night between my boyfriend and I, along with my thoughts of loneliness living out here in the boonies, without my family and friends, without Diego 50+ hours a week, it’s hard. I am extremely lonesome. The fight stemmed from the sole fact that I miss the quality time that I used to have with him.
After I had removed myself from the situation, Diego came out to the living room three hours later. He proclaimed he had a compromise between what he and I wanted.
He had me grab our wish jar, sheets of paper, and a pen. He said, “here are the rules:
- I get to grab one wish from the wish jar of wishes and compliments.
- I get to grab two wishes if it’s been a rough day.
- Diego writes 3 wishes and adds it to the jar every day.
I put the wishes back in the jar and all the wishes are numbered. So far I have picked two wishes #2 and #5.
#2 was virtue
#5 was patience
#16 was acceptance
I am very pleased with the results of the wish jar and I’m so happy he came up with the idea. It gives me peace of mind that he does truly appreciate me and love me for all that I am. I am so doubtful when it comes to my bipolar disorder and it’s sad because I’m not a meek person in general. But as a symptom of bipolar, I am doubtful in my relationship without constant affirmation and appreciation.
I can’t say I understand everything that goes into bipolar, but I do know what I need in a relationship to be successful and that is affirmations. Until I miraculously become non bipolar or something else changes, these things are the annoying intricacies that I need to survive. To not cheat. To feel loved. To love others.
My mother asked me if I was going to make Diego his own wish jar and I told her that he would much rather me do something for him; an act of kindness rather than receive words of affirmation.
You see? There are 5 different love languages which include
- Words of affirmation
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Receiving/Giving Gifts
I am all about words of affirmation aka compliments and quality time together, whereas Diego feels love giving and receiving gifts and acts of service. So it is hard catering to his love language and vice versa.
But to keep the peace, I will continue to wait on him hand and foot as we showers me with compliments.
Not a bad trade off 👌 😉
Dani
Precarious Aquarius 