I think I have been emotionally unavailable and low key an asshole since I had a death in the family about a month ago as of the 21st. Obviously it is not intentional but when having dinner with Steven after he got off of work and I was about to start my shift, he mentioned that I haven’t processed the death of my grandmother like, at all. Not even a little bit. My family, Steven, and I went to the memorial service a week ago and since then all I have been able to do is lay down, barely can get out of bed, sleep, eat sometimes, and go to work. Work is kind of my safe haven because I don’t have to focus on any one thing in particular.

I need new coping skills. I thought I had it all figured out and when I was manic I would say just paint or do art or blog or work out to keep my mind off of negative things and now that I am depressed, that is a bunch of booty. I did one load of laundry from start to finish today not so much because I wanted to but out of pure necessity. I showered for the first time in like two days (gross I know). I keep putting important things off like my bachelor of social work application at Portland State and my wedding plans and finance plan. The list goes on.

What do you do to cope with depression and bad thoughts? Realistically speaking.

Much love,

Dani