I was not going to write today, but that defeats the purpose of Blogtober which is to write. Highs and lows, ups and downs. I had yesterday off of work and I spent the morning with a gentleman friend and we just hung out and it was good. I went home and slept. Woke up that evening and got ready to go back to the same person’s house, and by 8:15pm, I was out like a light. And I slept. And slept and slept. Waking up every few hours to use the bathroom, but then right back to sleep.

I repeated this process until 5pm today when I heard my parents yell at the tv in the bottom of the 9th inning Mariners versus Toronto and I had to come watch because I knew the game must have been close but to be 10-9 Mariners and all we needed was three outs to win in the playoffs was spectacular. Soon enough we were all screaming our heads off and then ate dinner together. I bought lamb chops with orzo noodles and green beans and salad and a bunch of other things yesterday afternoon at the store. So my dad grilled the lamb chops and my mom made the sides and we all ate before I had to get ready for work.

Now it is 9:30pm and I am still tired despite sleeping nearly 24 hours in the past day or so. I already drank 1.5 of my 2 Red Bulls. And I got a long ways to go before I can sleep.

But why did I sleep for nearly a day? DEPRESSION… it’s back in full swing y’all. I thought I was having a rough couple of days but she looks like she’s here to stay a little while. I feel like depression is like a person at times, and she hangs on your back like a backpack. So not only is she heavy, but you feel the weight of her in your shoulders and back. It makes you feel colder, and everything hurts and feels like it is a lot bigger deal than it really is.

I just wanted to check in so I didn’t skip a day of writing so sorry for being lame or boring or not worth the read. If you have any encouragement for me, write them in the comments below and hopefully I can write something more interesting tomorrow.

much love,

Dani