Can’t even help myself

I just got off the phone with my doctor for a Telehealth med and bloodwork check up. My bloodwork was mostly unremarkable considering I stopped taking my hormone supplement because it was too expensive. I don’t think she ran any other labs besides my hormone checks which is fine by me because I didn’t need her to tell me about how fat I am or anything like that. But essentially she wouldn’t change any of my mental health medications because all my symptoms are coming from the fatigue from the sleep apnea and she asked why I haven’t done the surgery consult for the cpap machine in my chest and I had to explain that money does not grow on trees and I am not rich by any stretch of the imagination. She argued that insurance should cover it since I stop breathing over 200 times a night with a pulse oxygen rate of below 85% at least an hour out of the night. For those who don’t know, that’s really bad.

Anyways she won’t do anything unless I get surgery or retry to cpap and my dad will not let me get that “elective surgery” even after telling him all about the research and everything on it. So I guess I will live with huge open infected sores on my face and try the cpap machine once again because that is literally my only option.

I feel like I am stuck in a medical rut where I can’t seem to find the way out and all I can go do is accrue more health issues and they pile up on top of me and that’s it. That’s the end of me.

But there is no point in complaining now. I will just be butthurt, grow a pair, and deal with it because that’s all I can do.

In other news, I did a huge drive up and go pick up order from Safeway and got some really yummy food. I have pork carnitas in the crockpot and they have been in there about six hours now on high so they should be done soon. Maybe I am just hangry. I need to do homework and I feel better today than I have in a long time, but my motivation is slipping.

much love,


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