Healing slowly

I just found out that I do not have COVID-19. Thank the lord, knock on wood. I am still overwhelmingly sick with all the covid like symptoms, but I will probably be just fine.

I also got word today that my appeal for my grants to not be taken from me for the academic year 2022-23 was granted. Which means I will have funding for next school year. Today I transferred my funding information to my new school now I await how much in grants and loans I will get to cover the cost of tuition and books and whatnot. I know the amounts will not be equal considering it is much more expensive to go to university rather than a community college. But my hopes are that the grants are equitable to my needs and very little need has to come out of my pocket.

I kind of feel at peace with where I am at in my life for once. I may not have a lot of people in my corner, but those in my corner are loud and unafraid and maybe a bit abrasive but no one ever said having good people in your corner was a bad thing.

I feel like I am taking on new commitments and evolving into the new and improved Dani. Similar to that of a Pokemon, I am gaining new skills and forms of attack each day and eventually this little Pokemon will evolve into a bigger and better Pokemon!

I had a moment today where I felt God really take control of my day and I was finally in the passenger seat, letting Jesus take the wheel. I finally let go some of my grudges against ex-friends or used-to-be-best friends and I finally said to myself, “They can eat, just not at my table.” And I let go of that pain. It was simple as that.

Now this was a burden of mine I have been turmoiling with for about two years now, and the fact that it went away in almost one instance seems far fetched. But it was something I had been praying about for a long time and I finally got the sense of peace I needed whether it be to wrestle with the situation or just cut your loses and move on. I finally decided and had peace with the decision to move on and I feel good about it, like nothing is holding me back and I feel good.

I won’t go into more details than that. But I feel really clear headed and feel like I’m moving in a positive direction. I go back to work tomorrow after testing negative for COVID-19 and I get to read the case files for clients in community protection and go from there as a caregiver. I am excited for the opportunities that this position will give me and the learning curves it will throw at me.

Recovery is a hard thing to grasp because not everyone maneuvers in the same way, not everyone’s speed bumps are flat terrain or not everyone’s speed bumps are mountains either. In other words, adversity is different for everyone. And getting over are hardships is or can be traumatic. It’s about giving ourselves grace and resilience to try again and to do our best and to be happy.

Today I feel like I got a little bit closer to that goal. 🙂

Much love,

Dani

One Comment Add yours

  1. socialworkerangela says:

    Yay for a win. I do understand what you were saying about peace of the past. I didn’t have an a ha moment like you but when I was faced with the feelings I thought I would have in a situation and I was at peace it was exhilarating. Much love

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s