Mystery Diagnosis — NOT solved.

I had a CT scan on Tuesday for my abdomen, pelvic, and flank pain. I got the results today and they said that everything “looked normal” and that hopefully my bladder botox next month would help my urological pain. Otherwise I need to check back in with my primary care provider to figure out why I am having this pain.

I have made the decision not to go back to the pharmacy job but before you say anything, I replaced it with a job…. a care giver job that pays more starting and had more available hours than what I am getting at the pharmacy. I just don’t give a fuck about this last job I had. Sure, I was a supervisor and I needed to care but I just don’t care to sell booze and cigarettes all day and get yelled at by old people for not having a better job.

I need to pass a background check and do fingerprints for my new job so that is all to be determined. I think it should be a non issue unless I have to drive clients around and if that’s the case I will just need to adjust my car insurance policy.

I needed a break and so I am happy I’m getting this week to detox and relax. I went to hobby lobby today and I think I was in there for a hour looking at every handmade thing. I am a little pessimistic about not getting a diagnosis for my medical problems but that’s okay. I haven’t been flaring as bad lately with my back spasms and flank pain so that’s good. It is hard to determine when and why the pain arises though so I’m not quite sure what the deal is.

I took some money out of the bank to pay bills and cash stuff with. I worked 40 hours in the last two weeks and so my paycheck was super sad looking so money is tight this week and next. I am not sure when my next paycheck will start depending on when I will start this new job so it may be another rough month but that’s something I am willing to live with.

My bipolar has been better since I have stopped working that other job. My eye has improved thank God. I am still depressed and low key suicidal, but it’s not as bad as it used to be. I guess it can always get worse (or better) at any time, but I am not holding my breath.

Quick blog post for today just to update you all that I am still alive and relatively well.

much love,


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