I got home from my little trip around 8am. My friend and I had breakfast together and he wanted to watch a soccer match at home so I drove him home, grabbed a coffee and drove myself home. It’s weird because I like this guy but I seriously think he has no interest in me or is just too damn nervous to make a move. But I feel like if I mention anything, it will ruin our friendship because I do cherish our friendship but since our trip didn’t go as originally planned maybe he lost his nerve to make a move? I don’t know maybe I am just his friend. Stop overthinking, Dani!

I got home and did my pill box this morning and took my morning meds. I felt better after taking those and drinking some water. I gotta call my new job tomorrow to make sure my background check and drug test were in the clear and I can start either Monday or Tuesday. Hopefully that gets my mind of dropping out of school and whatnot. I also got to make sure everything gets straightened out with leaving school and I got to start repaying my loans and it’s a whole thing.

I also have a few medical bills to take care of tomorrow because those are terrible. I am just stressed. Blessed… but stressed. It’s not that much to do to some but I know I gotta go watch the dog tomorrow and Tuesday while Diego works which just adds to my stress because going to his house even without him there makes me agitated.

But I “subjected him to this dog; I FORCED him to keep this dog” …apparently so it’s my fault and now I gotta drive 45 minutes one way to take care of him while Diego works. I just am frustrated is all. I mean, if my anxiety could shoot anybody with a gun, I’d already be dead and convulsing back to life so I could then be shot again. Maybe I need a Xanax. Maybe I need two of them.

I’m all riled up so I gotta go smoke my vape and chill out. But yeah that’s the story of my life.

much love,

Dani