I think I left you all with a cliff hanger for what I was going to do in my relationship with Diego. For those of you who don’t know, Diego has been experiencing a lot of apathy and a touch of suicidal ideation. We agreed and shook hands to strike a deal on a couple of issues.
He said if it would make me happy, we would now be boyfriend/girlfriend. He thought that’s what I needed. I joked about needing marriage, but he doesn’t like my jokes about marriage. He got angry and finally decided that if one of the two following happens, we will get married. A) once I graduate with my Bachelor’s degree from WSU or, B) We are both stable in our careers and school and whatnot. The latter is much more vague so I am kind of just thinking we could get married once I graduate in 3.5 years.
After that though, he noticed a piece of ground beef went bad in the fridge and he flipped out on me. He aggressively threw the meat in the trash and starts yelling that I don’t appreciate all that he does for me and I am always reliant on someone else and he said some other harsh words. I stayed quiet and apologized for not cooking it sooner. I made the plan to utilize what we had in the fridge and use our menu board so things like this wouldn’t happen again.
Diego grew up with food insecurity so he despises wastefulness. I sympathize, but because I didn’t grow up that way, I don’t think much of it. I know that sounds terrible, and I understand it’s not just wasting money but resources we do have, so I have gotten better about not wasting things, but I am still not perfect.
That all was four days ago.
Now he has been sweet as pie to me and he was supportive over a potential opportunity I got (more to come on that later when details are finalized). We have been on the phone with each other all day, everyday and he makes time for me once he gets home from work.
I want things to work, I really do. I am happy with him as long as he is happy with me. I am willing to put in the work to make a relationship work. But that is definitely a two way street and he’s gotta put in some work as well.
I have another job interview today and if I don’t get this job, I won’t be applying to anything else until I get my other job that is a hour south of where I live now. Hopefully I get this job I applied to, but we shall see.
Mental health has been decent. I don’t feel the swings of the highs and lows of mania and/or depression.