I am feeling a little stir crazy today. I was at Diego’s all day by myself yesterday with Poncho (my houndy boy in the video and photo) so I got Poncho’s harness on and we went for a ride! I had ordered fish and chips with onion rings from a restaurant down the road from Diego’s house. So while we waited for that to cook, I took Poncho to the coffee shop called Dutch Bros.

I knew they would have a long line so I went there and I enjoy their Rebel drinks because it tastes like a red bull spritzer! So when we pull up, I have Poncho in the front passenger seat and it’s raining outside. He starts deep barking really loud and is staring at the lady who is standing in the rain taking the car before me’s order. She was wearing a poncho ironically enough and Poncho had never seen a Poncho before so it startled him. Poncho always has to protect me even from Diego. If I start to get upset or if Diego and I play fight. Poncho starts barking and attacking Diego. So, he’s a good dog.

A different lady not wearing a poncho had to come up to my car and got my rebel order. They asked if I wanted their version of a puppichino which is whip cream and a bone. So I said yes please. Poncho never had a puppichino before and I am happy I stopped and got it on camera for Diego and my family to see.

Before the puppichino, Poncho was crying so hard and shaking because he hates the car. Now he had more positive associations with the car since he got a treat. I guess us humans are quite similar.

After we got my food and went home, I fed Poncho some lunch which I do when Diego isn’t home. Usually Diego feeds him twice a day but I like to feed him three times a day and that’s what I did. I ate my lunch and was happy.

I wait for Diego to get home to start my homework. I had a haircut appointment in the afternoon and I didn’t want to stop and start my art project suddenly due to having to get in the car for my hair cut.

Shortly after Diego got home, the hair cut place called me and said they had an opening now and that I could come in. I was only shaving the sides and back of my head. I kept all the length on top since I’m trying to grow everything out into a bob. I read online that I gotta grow out the length and slowly trim and maintain the back of my hair, which grows quite quickly.

Last time I grew out my pixie hair cut, it was during quarantine so nobody saw the ugly and nobody else was getting their hair did so I wasn’t the only one rocking a mullet.

It wasn’t until I got back to Diego’s house that I realized I didn’t have the right pencils to do my art project. I brought my graphite pencils but not my charcoal pencils due to how messy they are, but they were required for the project so I quickly packed my stuff up and left to my house.

I got my project done before 10pm and I was left feeling alone. I wanted to go out and feel normal. But I knew if I went out for Karaoke, I would be the first person to start chain smoking all over again and ruin my smoking sobriety. I refrained from going out at all and I tried to lay in bed and listen to music and had a panic attack about “missing out”. I feel like I have been doing so well in all aspects of my life, but I haven’t been able to socialize at all since I have been out of work. I am supposed to hear about where I am being placed on Monday, the 8th within the company. But since the 25th of October, I have just been chilling and only speaking to my mom, Diego, my best friend, and to Poncho, the dog. That’s virtually it. So you can imagine at this point I am a little stir crazy.

Well I turned off the music and did my deep breathing. I didn’t have my hydroxyzine with me to take to help calm me down but eventually I felt drowsy enough naturally to go to sleep and that’s what I did.

I think I need to incorporate more time outside or whatever to help with my mental health struggles. I get reimbursed by my university for my gym membership so I signed up for the local 24/7 gym franchise. They have one right by my work and right by my house so it works out perfectly. I think lightly working out and getting back into my rhythm will be great for mental health but make me feel better all around. I’ll be curious to find out how my lack of vaping/smoking will affect my ability to breathe while exercising. I think it will be good.

Today (Sunday) has been better. Slow to get up and get started with my day, but figured a good writing session would kickstart my afternoon! I am just about ready to tackle my homework and then hopefully attend the gym for the first time in a long time. Wish ya girl some luck, I’ll need it.

Much love,

Dani