*heavy sigh*

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Day 23 of Blogtober.

After all that long rant yesterday about how excited I was to go to Oregon with Diego, I got the unthinkable text from Diego…

“I don’t think I can go on the trip.”

I immediately call him and ask what happened. I knew it had to be work related because we are emotionally doing well and I know he was looking forward to going. I guess his team lead or Person In Charge after him is this one chick. She just got back from family vacation and her cousin who also works with her at the store caught covid. So she is forced to quarantine for the next ten days which means not only does Diego not get tomorrow off of work, but he has to work every single day that he planned to take vacation, so Monday through Thursday.

I am not mad at Diego. He is a manager and he’s got no one else to call. Every department is short handed and understaffed and overworked so I am not sure there is any way for him to take even one day off so that we can go. Plus I would imagine I go back to work on Tuesday at the earliest so even if he did have time off, I would not have time off.

I refuse to go down by myself because 400 miles round trip is a long way to drive in one day and I know I can’t do it alone. My mom won’t want to go because she doesn’t want to be around people right now and I got no other options.

Now I am debating what I should do with the $200.00 that I saved for the trip. Should I pay off my lowest balance credit card? Or should I use the money to buy clothes/things that I have been needing? I was thinking of maybe doing a Goodwill trip and buy whatever I would like (within reason) and use the remainder for extra debt payment. So it’s a real first world problem.

I have some things in my Amazon cart that I have been eyeing; mostly self care items such as some at home work out aerobics equipment such as a step up board, a jump rope, a yoga ball, and a foam roller. Then some tank tops because I don’t have any and socks and some spandex leggings. I also need to finish Christmas shopping. I just need to spend about $115 more for Diego’s instant pot and my mom found a purse she wants for $45 so I said I would go halfsies for it for her birthday at the beginning of December.

I just feel as though I busted my ass for this money and it’s not getting me very far. Trust me, I am very blessed that I am able to afford everything I do. I am in no way hurting or suffering any more and for that, I am grateful to God. I do need to be more frugal, but it’s a process from being a compulsive shopper to a non spender. This doesn’t happen overnight, but God knows I am trying.

Maybe I need to stop being so pessimistic. I am getting my two tattoos in a week, I am doing excellent in school, my mental health has never been better, I am staying on budget, I have not gambled, I seldom drink or smoke weed, I am in the process of quitting vaping (down by half so far). I am also almost at my pre-covid weight. I weigh 188 lbs and my pre covid weight was 180, so almost there. I am more conscious about my eating and I am trying to be more active. I was my heaviest in January 2021 at 205 and I want to be at 165 again, so it will take time, but God is good and He will provide and grant me patience.

If you have any ideas on what I should do over the weekend with my extra cash, let me know in the comments below!

Much love,


2 Comments Add yours

  1. socialworkerangela says:

    I think getting the things you need like the clothes would be a good idea. Sorry you’re day trip was a bust.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Olivia says:

    Thank you so much for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

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