It’s been a while since I have commented much on my mental health as well as my physical or overall health. This post is aimed at doing just that.

I started taking some of my medication during the mornings rather than taking all my medication at night and I have noticed a significant shift in my mental health. I have noticed more clarity through out the day because I am taking half of my lithium dose in the morning along with my Abilify and stimulant, modafinil. In the evenings, I end my day with the remaining 450 mg of lithium, my birth control, my antidepressant, Prozac, and if needed for anxiety, I take hydroxyzine.

I used to take my meds at night because I thought it would be too difficult to remember to take medication before work. But when I started taking the stimulant which I had to take in the morning, it made more sense to break up the medicine so I am not taking 5-6 pills all at once which the thought of that makes me physically ill. Ya’ll know I hate taking medication more than God disliking sin, which is a lot.

But once I switched to taking my meds half in the morning and half at night, I noticed my thoughts are more stable and regulated and my moods are more consistent throughout the day rather than being all over the place for half the day.

I added hydroxyzine to the mix most recently because I was getting these terrible panic attacks and I used to take Xanax for it, but when I talked to my doctor, she didn’t like the idea of prescribing modafinil with Xanax in case I were to abuse it (which I wouldn’t) and then she prescribed me hydroxyzine. I was on this medicine when I was 18 first starting out with what we all thought was depression so I took sertraline (Zoloft) and that. The Zoloft made me miserably suicidal and the hydroxyzine made it so I was suicidal and apathetic.

But this time around I only take the hydroxyzine as needed so it’s much better now. I started taking the stimulant after I fell asleep driving at the wheel and crashed the side of my car pretty bad back in March. The stimulant did work for a while, but now I don’t feel anything anymore. It helps a little, but I am constantly plagued with fatigue throughout the day. Apparently I was never supposed to stop using my cpap machine; that the stimulant is supposed to help me in addition to using the cpap machine so I got it cleaned and plugged in ready to go for tonight.

Overall, I would say my mental health has been okay. I haven’t really reached the stage of hypomania, yet I am not depressed, which is good. Diego and I have been talking everyday which is good. I think that has helped me to feel less lonely. I know the seasonal depression is about to hit along with the regular depression. Being in Washington State, the skies are gloomy, it rains for most of the day and it sucks. I like the hot weather with no humidity the best, but I am not looking to move anytime soon, so here I stay.

Besides not getting a period for five or so months, I guess I am healthy. My doctor ran my blood work checking my estrogen levels because I have taken multiple pregnancy tests and I am not pregnant. (Thank the Lord). Apparently she keeps hearing that the COVID-19 vaccine can cause women to experience issues with their period, which I personally don’t believe, but I guess I will find out sooner rather than later.

I got checked out by the orthopedic surgeon and as long as no issues arise, I never have to go back for my ankle after having three major foot / leg / knee surgeries in the past three years. I can’t run or do impact sports until the new year, but by then, I should be ready to start really exercising. My knee is finally coming around too. I had knee surgery 09/21/2020 and she said it would be about a year before I could start using my knee properly again. But it finally doesn’t hurt to walk up and down stairs and I can use the stairs properly, taking one step by one foot at a time versus holding on for dear life to the hand rail and limping down the stairs or up them. So I am very pleased with this.

I went to my urologist today and had a procedure done. Don’t worry, nothing out of the norm for me. They put a special medicine in my bladder via catheter that helps my bladder not to spasm so much and cause Interstitial Cystitis flare ups. Basically IC is a bladder disease that causes constant UTI / Kidney infection flare ups and/or replicates the symptoms of those issues and there isn’t much to do to treat it. Last month I was in and out of the ER like three or four times because they couldn’t find the infection that made it seem like I had a kidney infection. They thought I was either having kidney stones or kidney failure. Apparently it was some infection found on a microgen test that took 2 weeks to get the results back. The test was done at the beginning of the month, but didn’t get the results and medication for almost a month of ER visits and doctor’s visits. So today I went back in to see if the infection has cleared, which I am certain it has. But it is always painful when I get my procedure done because of how they do it so it sends me into a small flare up of UTI like symptoms. Oh well. The procedure should give me about a month of relief which is well worth it.

Other than that, I have been pretty healthy it seems like! Nothing too crazy to report, I am doing well with school; my lowest grade being an 86%. I am working a lot too, so no complaints there.

I am gonna end this post here, I gotta get to bed.

Much love to ya’ll,

Dani