I spent most of my day yesterday sleeping the day away. Staying at Diego’s house in the summer time is always rough because he lives in a mobile home that gets hit with direct sunlight from dawn to dusk. Plus as a petty move on my part when I moved out in February, I took all five fans that kept the house cool enough. Not because I needed them at my parents’ house; my parents’ have air conditioning. I just took the fans to be petty.

He asked for the fans back next time I came over because I certainly don’t need five fans and if I am spending more time over here, we both need to be comfortable, plus Poncho, our houndy boy. We got dinner around 7pm at a place called “That One Place.” It is one of my favorites in the town he lives in. They serve breakfast all day, so of course I got chicken fried steak with eggs, hash browns, and French toast. Diego got some dish with beef, gravy, and vegetables with some garlic bread, whatever it was looked good.

We got home and he helped me tape trash bags around my casted leg so I could take a quick shower. At my home, I have a reusable bag that suffocates my leg, but keeps the water out and around my cast since I cannot get my cast wet. However, I did not think I was staying for more than a day so I didn’t think to pack my shower bag. I was fortunate enough that our contraption worked since we double bagged it. The outer trash bag had a good 5 inches of water on the bottom. However, the inner most bag, was sealed better and no water touched my cast.

I am so ready for this cast to be off of me. I got two more weeks, and four more days. I’m ready to be footloose and fancy free!

….

It is now 4:30am. I have my glasses on so I can see, my head is covered with a ball cap from my university to keep my hair out of my face, my Beats over the hat and my ears, and I look like a gremlin with my blanket over my head and shoulders because it is now cold in the house. It’s probably about 60 degrees in the house because it’s dead of night and all the house windows are wide open and there’s a draft.

Despite me sleeping 14 + hours yesterday, I went to bed a little after midnight after applying to more jobs. There was a job opening at my old psych ward for a shift supervisor position one day a week, twelve hours a day. So not only would I get paid almost $30/hour, I would get at least four hours of overtime (but maybe not since it is only one day a week…) anyway it’s a shit ton of money and I wouldn’t have to work weekends, I could live off that one long ass day a week. Not to mention they have good benefits and debt forgiveness because it is a public entity so they could forgive my psychology student loans, which is HUGE.

Even if I don’t get that, I am going to apply to the tech position, same day, twelve hours and maybe I can pick up a weekend shift to make ends meet. It’s a lot to handle psychologically working there and I would be working with adults rather than kids, which is a way different ball game. However, this is what I want to do with my life, I want to work with people in crisis. But my resume is impeccable for a job like this, I’m not sure why I wouldn’t get the job. I mean, besides me, who can afford to or want to work 1 – 12 hour shift a week?

I got psychology as my major for university, not only did I work for them and have good marks when I left, I also worked in behavioral health, plus I am CPR/AED/First Aid certified through the American Red Cross.

I am up now because I had to use the bathroom around 3:30am and I let Poncho out to potty. I didn’t have the back porch light on and with the way the house is, I can’t see him out there inside watching through the window. But I had the door cracked so I could hear him and all I hear after too long went by was him jumping on the fence, which is about 3.5 feet tall and he was whimpering and crying.

When I opened the door, I gazed my eyes in the distance and saw a giant raccoon that was running away. At first, I thought the raccoon may have hurt my Poncho, but I looked him over and he was fine, I think he was just spooked. I tried to go back to bed and then Poncho was still in the laundry room. He rang his bells, which means it’s time to potty. I don’t think he went due to the raccoon. Diego told me to let him out, but I was scared and told him what happened with Poncho. Diego got his sandals on and went out with Poncho and then we all climbed back into bed and tried to calm Poncho down. They both fell asleep and that left me the odd one out. So I let Poncho have my warm spot on the bed and covered him with blankies and I went to the kitchen to work on the blog.

So here we are.

I got a lot to do today, I got to make a couple of doctor’s appointments; one with my primary about my sleep apnea test and one with my urologist to get a procedure done for my bladder disease. I am going to follow up with another local grocery store and see if I can get an interview. I got to go to the bank and pay my car loan and pay off some more debt with my mom.

Before I stopped gambling, I took the last of my inheritance out and was basically forced to give about $1,500 of it to my parents to hold on to so I wouldn’t gamble it away. That was in August and now ten months later, I’m using about half to pay my bills that are soon to be due. I have yet to get paid by the state for my medical leave of absence so I haven’t gotten paid in almost a month which is no good. I also hear another stimulus check will be deposited into our accounts soon, and if that’s the case, I can rebuild my savings and pay off debt.

I also have to figure out my questions for my academic advisor for our meeting on Monday. I’m kind of stressing over it since this is going to be the turn of events; everything starts to happen really fast after this meeting. I will be able to sign up for classes, I will receive my student loans and start to pay for classes, and then I will start attending mid August. Which, ya’ll, is only two months away. I feel the pressure, but I also feel the drive.

I just hope I can keep up. I know I can, it will be different and it will be difficult, but if there is no room for failure, then I certainly can’t fail.

Much love,

Dani