Yesterday was a very bad day. I got a text from my boss that I would only be working until 1pm. I thought that was peculiar; maybe it had to do with the snow coming in the weather forecast for the area that I was working in. But something seemed off…

I had a meeting with upper management on Friday in regard to my shift notes not being up to par with company standard which had to do with lack of training on management’s part, not so much my part. So I was wondering if this had to do with the shift notes and my supervisor was going to give me more time to revise those notes.

More time passed with out either of us responding so I texted her, “what about my evening client?” I said something else with it, which I now don’t remember, but she ignored that question and left the conversation at, “Your evening client has cancelled.”

Now my heart was definitely racing. I popped two Xanax and drove to the bank to get money out for rent and went to the other bank to deposit my two loan payments. Even with the snow flurries flying everywhere, I would be right on time, I thought.

Lisa is always late, so I figured I would have some time to get settled in and get ahead on my stuff.

But she was there. In her car. Waiting for me. It was 11:30am exactly.

She got out of her car. She said, “Give me [client’s] binder.”

I did so.

“Both clients’ of yours have requested different technicians via the parents. This will be your last session with [client]. I will run session while you catch up on notes. You will leave at 1pm. I have no other clients’ in the local area so you’ll have to speak to upper management for recourse.”

I was speechless.

“Any questions?”

I was scared. I wanted to cry. But couldn’t. Not in front of this client who I had to pretend that it didn’t matter to me; like I didn’t care that I was leaving when in fact, I did.

This particular client I had been seeing since November 30th of 2020. Not a terribly long time but when you spend 20 hours a week together every week, you get to know a person. This client was a byproduct of incest and she was adopted by someone in the family tree, if I remember correctly.

Anyways, I am not one to judge. I had my own effed up childhood. The client was 14 and had daily tantrums and would become violent. The mother and father were perfectionists and to have an autistic child ruined that. This child was the youngest of the nine in total that the mother had raised. She had three biological children and adopted six. She is almost 60 now, with her eldest biological child being 39 and her two adoptive and biological sisters were 16 and 14, respectively.

The mother thought the client was bipolar as well as autistic. I cared more about her mental health status than anyone in my field, who only cared about behavioral status of having tantrums. In my humble opinion from what I’ve learned in behavioral health is that you can’t fix behavior until you fix your mental state. That can be with meds, counseling, coping mechanisms, etc.

The parents were impatient with how slow ABA (behavioral therapy) was and there was no immediate improvement. They wanted a quick fix, which early on, I asked the mother about.

Recently the client sobbed to me that she wants to get better, but didn’t know how. She confided in me. I said sometimes the ABA programs we did didn’t matter but us having blunt conversations was more beneficial. I told her to write a letter asking to see a counselor for her mental health.

The mother blew her off. There was a slight miscommunication between mother and I. That was Thursday of last week. I refused to come to the home if anyone in the home was sick. The mother was sick. She got angry that I wouldn’t provide services.

This child had services and activities to do 40 hours a week. They had a live in nanny to take her so mom could get a break. I was there every day, four hours a day, giving the mom a break. The kid had horse lessons one evening a week. Had four other respite care takers and therapists and care coordinators for the rest of the week.

The mom clearly did not want this child in her old age, but was stuck. And frankly, I think I said some things that pissed her off because she knew I was right.

Anyways. Back to yesterday. Its 12:58pm. Lisa said to the client that this would be our last session together. She looks down and back at me, with tears in her eyes. She stands up, hugs me for a long time. I told her she could call me anytime she wants. She breaks down, sobbing.

It took everything in my power to not start crying then and there. I would miss her. I hoped she would call me. Ultimately she pissed me off a lot, but she was a good kid with a hard go at life.

I pack up my things and hastily head to the back door to leave. The older sister whom I had also became close with asked why I was crying. I said in a whisper this was my last time over here. She gasped in horror and in sympathy. She said she would miss me and I said she could text me anytime if she needed anything.

As I shuffled out to my car, the mother was leaving to do errands. She waved at me and said, “see you around!” I just glared at her through my tears.

…

That evening I emailed management for recourse and no response.

I called twice today and resent emails and no response.

It was 6pm when someone responded with a vague response. I asked for more clarification like if I was fired, if someone could find clients in my area, what the hell was going on.

No response yet.

Still waiting.

Until then ya’ll

Dani