Reflection

I’m not sure if it’s my bipolar or my poor memory, but this year seems like a blur to me. I made this collage of photos, pictured above in order to jog my memory of this year’s downfalls and successes. Below you will find what The Precarious Aquarius has been up to in the year of 2020!

  • I started this blog. I went live on February 11th, if I remember correctly. I had always wanted to do a blog to bring awareness to myself and to others in regard to the struggles of bipolar disorder. I loved to write, even from a young age and to have a platform to do it and promote a certain mission has been an incredible privilege. The fact that I have 144 followers in less than one year is amazing to me. You all have been too kind as I have been trying to figure out myself and grow as a person. Whether you have been here since the brutal beginning or just followed me yesterday, I appreciate you and thank you.
  • I have been through as many jobs as I have fingers on one hand. I started the year out as a paralegal, until my boss found out that I was bipolar and he then fired me. That was what really ignited my passion and my belief in this blog; that it could change people’s minds on how others view those with mental illness. I got unemployment for a couple of months until I found a job as a medical records tech. I had job offers for them (which was local) and a bank supervisory role in the city, so I chose the local job which I regret to this day. But hey, everything happens for a reason! I took the job and quit on the spot after I had a delusion that the others were out to get me. After that, it took me another few months to get another job, I got back together with Diego and I ended up working the service desk of a major home improvement store. I was decent at the job until I injured my recovering foot and had to use a knee scooter to get around. After I fell at work and got neuropathy in my arm from the fall, I was looking at other jobs, desk jobs, that I could complete and get better pay at. I then became a debt collector up until my major foot and knee surgery that they then fired me for because my absence was “unapproved” by HR, even though I told my supervisor and other higher ups about it. I now work with autistic kids and I love it, it’s the right fit for me.
  • My only sister got married. She got married January 5th of this year and was fortunate in her timing because it was all before the lock downs in the US. I have a lot of feelings about the topic, but out of respect for her and her husband I won’t discuss it any further.
  • I got one tattoo and removed a piercing. I got my Relentless tattoo pictured above after I contemplated suicide and chose not to end my life. I had to take out my eyebrow piercing that I loved in order to work at a hardware store that had a policy against facial piercings.
  • I got my second major foot surgery / first major knee surgery. I had major foot and knee surgery on September 21st, which funny enough, would have been Diego and I’s first wedding anniversary had we gotten married. I had cartilage from my knee be placed into my ankle since I had virtually no cartilage left in my ankle after my accident in August of 2018. They left pins and screws in place to hold my foot together. Now as I recover and recently injured the same ankle, I am waiting for an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to see what is now causing all of this new and different pain.
  • Diego bought a house and we moved back in together. Diego bought a house back in late March, when we were apart. He had mentioned looking into buying a house when we were together around my sister’s wedding, but after he and I split ways, I never thought he would do it. I talked to him at work one day and sure enough, we ended up back together… he had yet to move in once May rolled around since he was waiting to put in new carpet before he moved everything in. The house was painted, new fixtures were put in, and once June came, we were all settled in. We had a house warming party July 19th. I got kicked out once I lied and went to the casino without telling him for the umpteenth time. Once I got my shit back together, I started moving my stuff back in slowly, but surely by mid October. I still don’t have all my stuff here just in case something were to happen, I just have the necessities.

I think that’s about it for changes for this year. I am excited to get rid of this year and see what new memories and experiences are to come. It’s crazy to see that life still happens even though a pandemic is going on; this pandemic has shown no mercy to anyone and I’m curious to know how you all have adapted to the new adversities this year. Let me know in the comments below!

Much Love,

Dani

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