All good things must come to an end, I suppose. The past three days I have felt as though my manic days are over with… at least for the time being. Now I am entering a depression, the peak of summertime sadness. The days are bright and warm, filled with hope, yet I feel empty and apathetic inside. I have no desire to clean, to cook, to even get out of bed. When I sleep in til 11am, Diego gets mad because it interferes with the time that he and I have together, which isn’t much. I am lonely. But I have no energy to reach out to anyone, even though I know there are people who would be willing to talk to me. Although my health has been much better since I started going on walks and started my conscious eating, my depression is hindering my desire to keep the momentum going.
In other news, I got a job interview as a branch supervisor with an up and coming bank! My interview is on Thursday, May 28th, 2020 and I am stoked. I really think I would be a perfect fit for this position and could make some decent money. It would put my desire to go back to school on hold, but I need a job making good money now! Diego even said once I am able to pay rent when I eventually move in with him, I could make either the office or second bedroom into an art studio! I know I am getting my hopes up to high, but I honestly think things are finally falling into place.
Today I made a protein shake, and had some snacks that were unhealthy, but I ate those in moderation. I am trying to drink more herbal tea and water to get rid of the toxins from the junk food I have been eating the past couple of days. I know there has to be some sort of effect that junk food has on my mental health versus eating healthy food. Maybe I’ll force myself to walk a great distance. If I could run, I would. But walking up the giant hill by my house should suffice.
In the meantime, I am trying to keep busy and my spirits high in hopes of getting this job and starting soon. It’s hard to be in a positive head space when all you want to do is cry and mope in bed all day long. My question to you is this: how do you cope when you’re falling into a depression when you have no desire to do the activities you normally like doing?
Til Next Time,