I’ve been on DayQuil and NyQuil and all sorts of prescribed and over the counter cold medicines since Christmas Day and man, I am losing my shiiiiiit.

I am so antsy with absolutely no energy to lift a finger. I have another upper respiratory tract infection and now my voice is completely gone from coughing to the point of nearly cracking my ribs. My chest and stomach muscles are so strained and sore from the all day and night coughing fits. I was finally seen at virtual urgent care 3.5 hours after requesting the visit through my insurance website and the doctor heard me hack and cough and he was like you are definitely sick and not going anywhere except back to bed and wrote my a doctor’s note for returning to work on January 2nd which is a Tuesday. I’ve already burned through all my paid time off but I’ll just have to work four days, forty hours once I get back with one day off being Saturday and then go back to the normal schedule.

I would say I had a good Christmas Eve and Christmas. After work on Christmas eve, I went over to Kyle’s house to receive my Christmas silky jammies and Goodwill mug that said “INHALE EXHALE” which I left at his house so I can a coffee or tea cup there.

On Christmas morning, my parents and I all woke up around 5am and got Christmas presents and breakfast done by 7am or so that I could go back to bed before I got to work. I got light up shoes (yes they are as cool as they sound), a get outta jail free card from monopoly from my dad for paying half of my very expensive attorney fees, I got fancy rust colored sheets with a dark green and white comforter for my bed along with a new book, electric candle lighter, and bath towels.

I threw up before going to work but it wasn’t my normal nausea and vomiting in the morning, and by the time I went to work I was excited about my light up shoes that I made red and green for the holiday but after about five seconds my joy faded and I was nauseous, sweaty, disoriented, and my throat hurt like I had strep. My supervisor made me take a covid test while on the clock which I did but that was negative which didn’t surprise me. Then she sent me home because I looked terrible and they had a bunch of extra staff due to the holiday.

Wednesday I slept on and off all day without taking any meds or drinking any fluids but I hurt so bad that I couldn’t even get up to use the bathroom but I was dehydrated and lying in my own filth.

Thursday I started pumping the tessalon pearls pills which is a pill cough suppressant, it aint no codeine but better than nothing. Started taking DayQuil tablets every four hours along with multiple showers to get the congestion out. They diagnosed me with the upper respiratory tract infection and I took NyQuil about 6:30pm because I was up since 4am that day and it made me have the worst anxiety of my life, I kid you not.

I legit thought I was gonna die of overmedication and then I didn’t want to take my anti anxiety meds because I didn’t want it to mix wrong with my OTC meds and man I was in the worst mindset but I couldn’t reach out to anyone because of the time of day was late o’clock at that point and I had no idea what I was feeling besides “I’m gonna die tonight” I was afraid to sleep because that was a sign that the devil was gonna take me and kill me once I fell asleep so I fought it off much as I could. ended up sleeping three broken hours of sleep and woke up with no voice, I tried to groan and moan in pain but couldn’t because if I did, I sounded like a young boy going through puberty.

I tried to lay low as much as I could. I just threw a load of laundry in the wash that is probably ready to be put in the dryer now. It took a lot out of me to bring that huge basket of clothes down the stairs but after being so sick and getting sick all over myself many of times, my bathroom reeked of piss and vomit and I couldn’t take it anymore. As shitty as I feel now, that was making me feel worse. Once all my clothes are washed I’ll put my new Christmas gift sheets on my bed and wash the gross sheets that are on there now. Hopefully my mom can help with that task tomorrow because with strained stomach muscles, it’s gonna be rough to do that.

The more work I set up for myself tonight to keep my mind off of anxiety things, the more my cough gears up and my throat is so swollen. I feel terrible. The more I push myself the sicker I will become which isn’t what I want either. fucccckkkkk.

Just pray for me y’all that’s all I really need right now is to get better so I can return to work and make them dollars yo.

much love,

Dani