Today is Day 28 of the Blogtober challenge.

Sorry for the last minute post at the eleventh hour of the day! I have been sluggish all day long and even now, I am ready to just crash and go to bed, but I know I had to get something out for today. This is the first time in a long time that I have fully committed to something and stuck to it. It seems silly; it may be easy for some to post a decently sized blog post every day for a month or even for a full year! But for me, committing to that and remaining vigilant and consistent is quite difficult.

I think this stems back to my bipolar disorder. I know the disorder gives me a reason, but not an excuse. But it explains why I have troubles with following through with tasks either large or small. I am very flighty, not naturally, but because my mind moves so quickly from one thing to the next so when I am accomplishing thing 1, I already have partially thought out thing 6 or 7. So this leads to thing one being half assed and thing six or seven being really good, while 2-5 is either done in a hurry or not done at all.

This school year, I have really focused on using my planner to keep me motivated and interested. Actually, I use two planners. One is strictly for school and one is my catch all planner for the big stuff that school has, work, appointments, etc. I make sure to write and check in my planner at least once a day and have it out in a place that is accessible to me throughout the day. If I don’t write in either planner in the morning, I make sure to summarize the day in the evening and check off the tick mark boxes if and when I complete something. Even if it’s a small task such as washing my face or making my bed, or even a big task like my quiz tomorrow, I write it down and check it off once it’s complete.

Another thing I have been doing that has really helped my mental health is to give myself enough time to relax as I do work or do school. This isn’t always possible, but I like to create equal parts to study/work and for school. Monday through Friday, there are 120 hours. If 40 hours are spent working and 40 hours are spent sleeping (approximately), I have 40 hours I have to allocate my hours to. If I have 25 hours of assigned studying or homework and only 40 total hours of “free time” besides work and sleep, I am going to use my time for self care and for homework equally or as close to it as possible. So instead of putting 25 hours Monday through Friday toward school, I will allocate only 20 hours to school and the other 20 hours toward self care of anything I choose.

You may be thinking, if I need those extra five hours to study, why won’t you just cut your losses and deal with the 15 hours of free time. Everyone is different, but for me, if I say I am studying 25 hours a week, 20% of that 25 hours is going to be spent distracted, goofing off or not staying on task. Why bother giving myself five hours of non productive time when I can finish a personal project or watch tv or get some sleep? I feel that is more productive than if I am going to sit at my desk without a care in the world for my anthropology homework and not actually do anything for five hours.

With those two things; equal use of time and planner usage, I somehow have managed to put out 28 blog posts (so far) and nearly complete the Blogtober Challenge for this year. I also managed to make honor roll at midterms so that is cool.

The past few days have been good. I came home from Diego’s this afternoon and I have my laundry going, took a shower, did my multi product skin care routine, I worked on the budget a little bit, wrote in my planner my tasks for tomorrow and now I am working on the blog for today.

I was waiting for a phone call from my doctor’s office about my paperwork being completed and being faxed to work so I can return to my mental health job, but that phone call never came. I know the surgeon has surgeries scheduled on Mondays and Fridays and considering it is Thursday night now, I am not getting released to work anytime before Tuesday.

However, I have been working on a back up plan in case my work won’t be able to place me anywhere within the agency. Today I received a phone call from the local credit union for an interview for a banker position. I am very excited as this interview is tomorrow, Friday October 29th at 9am via Microsoft Teams. I used to be a teller for a big bank for about a year and I loved it and I was also a debt collector for another big bank. So I enjoy banking, finances, and money a lot so I know I will enjoy the job and I have done things similar to it in the industry so I am qualified. I will continue going to school for my degree in psychology, but if this means I have a job and a safe desk job at that, I am good with the change up.

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job currently but I am losing faith and patience as time goes on because I can’t pay bills and I went from working over 100 hours in two weeks and this next paycheck I will have worked 17 hours in two weeks. It’s terrible. If I can start at the credit union sooner than my job I have, then I will have income back in my pocket which is where it needs to be.

I am not holding my breath for this interview but I am a little hopeful. Not to mention they have $1,000 sign on bonus right now and if I could make more money here and get that bonus, that would be so well needed.

I am praying that all goes well and things happen the way God intends them to happen and I don’t interfere with His plan.

Much love,

Dani