It’s my Thursday night at work which feels weird saying considering it is now into the wee hours of Sunday morning. My past week has been pretty good. On my three days off last week, I got caught up on some sleep and I met Kyle’s mother and brother. We had dinner with them and it seems like they thought I was good enough for their son/brother to marry. We talked a lot about what I do for work and the social services field in general considering the fact that Kyle’s brother is a nursing student currently working as a medical assistant at a walk-in clinic where he lives.

His mother is very opinionated and highly critical if things aren’t as she likes them which can be a hard personality type for me to get along with because I am the type of gal that sees gray in everything whereas she is extremely black and white. So staying on her good side isn’t necessarily a priority of mine but it will be nice while it lasts, if it lasts.

In the last three days, we have had a couple of small crises at work. One of the youth had a, for a lack of a better word, temper tantrum because she didn’t want to clean her room which was trashed full of stuff she has accumulated and claimed to be “suicidal” and “on edge”. Now I normally don’t question people when they say they are suicidal and need help because that is almost always true and they need help right away. But in the context of the situation, I was doubtful she was serious in her claim and did it as a way to get out of her cleaning. I do think she had some suicidal ideation but not to the extent that she needed outside help from EMTs or the crisis phone line.

I gotta say that my biggest pet peeve in this world is when people over-sell their mental health issues because it makes the rest of us who are honestly struggling, look bad. Like if she says she is (falsely) suicidal yet denies her resources, I am going to doubt the next person who says they are depressed and suicidal and I try not to think like that because all mental health claims should be taken seriously, but it’s like crying wolf; eventually I won’t believe you even when there is a real problem.

It’s so different for me to work with 16-20 year olds considering with my last job I worked with adults, usually 30+. I forget that with the youth, every little thing is the end of the world but if you asked them to remember this moment a year from now, none would remember how they felt because this moment as well as many moments are very insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It’s also weird because these kids can almost always take accountability for their actions because they are all neurotypical except a couple with minor mental illness. I am used to the type of client that can’t flush the toilet or perform ADL’s (activities of daily living) because they are so distraught and mentally ill. These kids are not near that end of the spectrum so when I ask for the youth to pick up after themselves they should and can do so. So that makes my job very hands off in a lot of ways. What I provide is advice and resources to the youth when they come to a crossroad. A lot of times, I can’t help because it is something like what type of permanent housing is available to me or how do I apply for social security disability. I mean I can help them fill out forms if they have questions, but I am not their case manager so I don’t get to play that role in their journeys. Basically I keep homeless kids physically safe and provide a shelter for them in the 11 hours they are here.

Most the time I love my job. For example, tonight one of the youth bought and brought in an ice cream cake. They woke up the other sleeping youth and they all shared cake and laughed and socialized. The youth even asked if I wanted some cake which I politely declined but seeing that happen makes my heart happy. I think the only thing I don’t like about my job is that I work at night which is both a blessing and a curse. I can get a lot done like read, look at internet stuff, write, fill out my planner and habit trackers, etc. But it sucks being on an opposite schedule of Kyle. But in some ways it works out because he goes to work at 4-5am everyday so we will talk on the phone for 45 minutes while he gets ready for work.

I am thinking about and looking into getting another part time job. This job is technically part time but I need something that provides more income. I don’t remember if I mentioned this, but my car is a total loss so I need to make some extra cash to put down on yet another car. Another bad thing is that Kyle has also had his truck in the shop for a month and his alignment didn’t help the steering in his truck so to unfreeze the rods? (I think that’s what it is called) It would take like 10k to repair so his truck might get totaled out as well so then we would be buying not one, but two vehicles. Ugh.

And not to mention, my favorite pair of glasses broke on me tonight at work! I was adjusting the right side to sit higher on my nose and next thing I knew, the right side arm of the frames fell into my hand even though I hadn’t applied any pressure to the frames itself. I suppose I could duct tape it but it makes me sad because they were emerald green and my favorite pair of glasses. At least I have six more pair of glasses at home but I don’t have another pair at work so I gotta work blind.

Now I gotta hunt for duct tape. Catch ya later!

Dani