The most permanent remembrance of someone is something that isn’t even permanent at all; it’s their words.

I have someone very close to me, who was similar to that of another father figure who was put on hospice a couple of days ago. I was told I couldn’t see him and my own father explained it as they wanted to be remembered for how they were, not for how they suffered in the process of passing on.

I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. Maybe that is selfish, but I am respecting their wishes regardless of my own feelings.

I think words are so important to me because they make you feel something; they move you to action or inaction. They create change. They show love, hatred, and everything in between. But this would not be in existence without the knowledge and the impact that words have on our lives. Diction, rhetoric, the words we use and how we use them are powerful things. I forget that the power in my words has a longer lasting impact that any physical movement I make.

I would hope this individual who is on hospice knows that I do care and I tried. I was ready to see the good, bad, and the ugly. I worked as a caregiver long enough but I wanted to be there because I felt like I owed it to him because of how he impacted my own life; I wanted to have a sliver of an impact on the last of his life.

I think that’s all I have for right now… I just wanted to check in and get a couple of thoughts on paper… or I suppose in this case, punching the damn keys and getting the words out on the screens of hundreds or thousands of internet folks.

Just remember that you are not alone. You never have to be alone if you don’t want to. You have me, for what it’s worth. Feel free to reach out in the comments below or email at theprecariousaquarius@gmail.com . My inbox is always open to anyone no matter what.

Much love,

Dani