Like I said in my previous post, I interviewed for three different jobs this week; one at a bank, one at an insurance company, and one at the local hospital. The bank rejected me. But it was like a fluke out of the blue sign from Jesus Christ Himself came to me Thursday morning. I thought to open my email and I got an email from an older employer of mine saying they did some sort of audit and found me on their payroll but found I was on medical leave, so they asked if I could or if I wanted to come back and work with them.

This is a mental health facility where I would be either working with adults or youth both in their respective inpatient units. I replied that I would love to come back and HR sent me an email with days and times for certain schedules in certain units and I chose the best for me which was working in the adult inpatient unit working four 11’s Sunday through Wednesday with Thursday Friday and Saturday off. It would be a weird mid shift like 11:30am to 11pm with a thirty minute lunch each day but I don’t care I am happy I will pull overtime every week and only work four days with three days off in a row that are weekend days.

I could have done graveyard but I didn’t want to if I didn’t have to and if I am working 4-5 days with overtime each week, it makes up for the night time shift differential (people get paid more to work at night for the same job with less responsibilities; it’s a win win but I didn’t want to have to work 5 days full time with no overtime cuz that would suck ass)

Problem is I do not re start this position until July 10th which is like two and a half weeks away.. Well the thing is, even if I do get the hospital job as fascinating as that would be it would be an additional three weeks of onboarding and I couldn’t take time off in August when I have my last court date which I have to attend via zoom. So that wouldn’t work and same sort of waiting time for the insurance gig but for much less pay. So if God answered my prayers that is wonderful because this job is everything I need and want right now.

I got to pay my $650 car note on July 3rd and I have about $13.39 to my name. I am in the process of trying to sell belongings such as my beloved MacBook Pro just so I can keep and not default on this vehicle because it is the only way I can get to and from this new job. The rest of my bills I have just not paid because I haven’t had income in over a month and a half. I am trying to get ahold of unemployment because I keep filing claims and they owe me over $2400 at this point if I qualify but they won’t let me know if I qualify for unemployment or not! How dumb is that. My case has been in adjudication since May 28th, so just under a month. I need these pennies from heaven so badly I hope it works out and my prayers to God are answered about this.

I have been very agitated today and I can’t place why. I was running errands with my mom today, we went grocery shopping and I guess Diego happened to be going to Costco when we were so I had to pick him up a pizza because this certain pizza place near me and where he used to live had jalapeño popper pizza and he wanted some so he paid me some dinero to get it and deliver to him at Costco. So the three of us shopped together and Diego said, “I like hanging out with you guys because it makes me feel like a Make a Wish kid!” I laughed so hard. We got food and I was dissociating hard core and once Diego brought it to my attention, my mom said “I didn’t notice because I was also dissociating!”

I’ve been in my room since I have been home and I wanted to go out tonight but then again, with what money? So Ive been good and stayed home and I might smoke some ganja to relax and not be so on edge with my agitation.

Yep. That helped. I’ve been keeping up with my habit trackers for the second month in a row so I am very proud of myself. I feel like I have the goal of moving out of my parents’ house by this time next year. With this new job and bi weekly paychecks and all the overtime I want, I really think I can save and pay off some significant debt. My 10k personal loan now only has 950 left on it and that was a loan I acquired to offset the gambling debt. It feels like a chapter is slowly coming to a close when I finally pay that off which will easily be this year. I haven’t gambled in a good long while now which I am thankful for. I want to move out because it’s time I had my own space and have something to be proud of. We will see what happens but I am manifesting that now so it happens later when the time is right.

much love,

Dani