I had my “first” day of work which was really more like an hour long so if you count it as real work, that’s your call. I got to wear my scrubs, get a TB test, get my photo taken for my badge and discuss my work schedule and sign some documents. I am working swing shift Tuesday through Saturday the next two weeks and after that, we will reconvene and figure out my schedule. I told the lady I wanted to do graveyard because not only does it pay more, but I prefer it and that’s where they need the most help so I don’t mind being the hero lol.

I go in for fingerprinting tomorrow before my shift and then I get keys and login computer info for the job and I train diligently for the next two weeks. I have to figure out in my downtime if I can take my home care aide test, written and skills so that I can do a bridge program to get my CNA and then my promotion will take place. You see, I am hired as a caregiver and I am paid as a med technician because I was basically a med tech as well as a caregiver at my last job. But the requirements for passing medication to clients during COVID-19 is different and now has reverted back to needing a certified nursing assistant cert in order to pass meds.

Since I don’t have my CNA, I can’t pass meds at this new job but it’s kind of nice knowing I’m making more in the meantime as I strive toward my CNA.

Once I have my CNA, I am unsure what I will do. I don’t anticipate being at this job for a long time because once I get my CNA, I can work at the hospital or do all sorts of things that are not caregiving. I love caregiving, but the emotional toll it takes on me is hard. I try to keep my work and home life separate but I get so emotionally intwined in these peoples’ lives just because I care so much. I mean, I think that’s gonna be the issue with any job I have because I care so damn much. Especially being in healthcare. I think I did better dealing with short term clients rather than long term because when you’re with long term clients day in and day out, you get to know one another quite well. It’s weird though because this is the first job I’ve ever had where I relatively do not have to be on guard and have boundaries with my personal info.

For example, I wouldn’t necessarily share I have bipolar disorder with my new clients but I can share if I have a boyfriend or not (which I don’t), housing, finances, life events, world happenings and those were all so taboo because I last worked with sex offenders so kids could never be brought up and even now I look away when I see kids on the tv in a commercial because that’s what we taught the clients to do. It was unavoidable to eliminate a whole population of people due to their age and my clients’ fetishes *Shudder* and at my other job, we couldn’t talk about anything that would be a trigger for clients such as religion, politics, world happenings, etc.

It’s crazy to me that my rhetoric has been so restricted due to the type of work I am in. I never thought of it like that… It’s not like I have this dire need to talk about myself and my belief systems but it is interesting to me to see our little facades that we put up; our masks so to speak when we go out in public, go to work, go to school, are around friends versus family and finally when we return to our ultimate selves.

I think that soap box is done with so I’ll end the blog here.

Much love,

Dani