Got into a fight with my mom this evening. I asked her if she minded if I went to sing karaoke. She flipped out because after going to sing karaoke last time, I wrecked my car. It was like a trigger for her. She threatened me with if I went out tonight, she wouldn’t go on tomorrow’s family trip. Oh yeah. We, my immediate family including my sister, are going to Portland for the day for my grandpa’s 89th birthday tomorrow. There is a big get together and most of my cousins, aunts, and uncles will all be there. My mom didn’t go on our last visit to see my grandparents so I do want her to come along because I think she would have fun.
However, I do not like being threatened into following some agenda. I told her that I wasn’t going to drink at all, all I wanted was to sing and hang out with old friends. I called my dad after I went back upstairs after my mom threatened me and gave me the silent treatment. He said he heard where I was coming from but he stands by mom for at least tonight. However, he said we all need to sit down and make house ground rules for what I can and cannot do so that we are all happy.
I am really irritated because I am lonely and want to go out and not be stuck at home all the time. I have been home 24/7 for the past two months because I had extensive foot and leg surgery and before that, I had to repair my car so my Kia was in the shop over a month. I have a couple of friends I talk to via text and video chat, but me going out during the evening is just not allowed because my mom will have a cow.
She just called my dad after I got off the phone with him. Shortly after she called me to make popcorn in the air popper and is gonna bring me up a root beer and offered to watching tv with me. I accepted her bribe, but I don’t want to talk to her much if at all tonight. I am 23 years old, damn it. I should be able to do what I want, when I want it, and how I want it. I understand I still rely on my parents to some extent. However, that shouldn’t mean me sacrificing my independence in the name of some financial help.
I am happy I should be getting my first paycheck in the next couple of weeks and then that will help as far as independence goes. I can pay everyone back and move forward. I hate being bound to anyone. Maybe my next step is moving out even if I need six other roommates to do so. I cannot stand have people telling me what to do or how I should live my life.
I understand those who are concerned for my well being and as much as I appreciate it, when I am in a healthy place like I am today, I don’t see the need to be so overbearing. But I digress.
I am less angry now than I was when I started this post, I think the stress relief essential oils that I put in my oil diffuser are helping believe it or not. I am going to grab some hot orange and spice tea and relax and read my book.
Much love to you all!